Lessons from Bambi aka I don't hate Oregon

It is a classic line of the movie Bambi:

"If you can't say something nice, don't say nuttin' at all."

Since Thumper is pretty convincing, I have tried to live that principal since I watched the movie as a kiddo. I think I have done a pretty good job of it for most of my life. I think I did a decent job of it here on the blog...which is probably one of the reasons why I haven't posted much in the last year (well, that and the fact that I have 4 kids, a husband who I actually spend time with daily, family and friends to stay in touch with and new people to meet and sights to see). Sure I post about the hard stuff on here, but I try to keep things positive and nice, because I think that there is good in everything, if you look for it hard enough.

But, apparently I have failed to follow Thumper's rule when it comes to talking about Oregon because people keep saying to me, "You must really not like it there," or "Sounds like it is a really good thing you are moving!". I haven't meant to portray that, so, I want to apologize and explain. I do not think Oregon is awful. I do not hate living there. I actually think that under a different set of circumstances, I may have loved it there. I think it is quirky (Portlandians post billboards and bumper stickers with the slogan "keep Portland weird" all over the place) and as such has a lot of things that are fun to laugh about and tell people about because they are fun conversation topics. I also tend to complain about how stinkin' expensive it is to live in Portland because it is a constant source of frustration for us as we try to make headway on paying off our student debt. It is no secret that the weather has definitely been hard for us to handle, but that is something everybody in Oregon complains about because by the time you get to April, May, June and you still haven't seen the sun, you really start to get "winteritis". All of these things would be manageable if it weren't for the fact that all of things we moved to Oregon to accomplish were not being accomplished. Not because Oregon is awful, but because it wasn't what we expected it would be.

We had anticipated that it would be more expensive (and thus pay more), but not as much more expensive as it is. We had anticipated that we would be able to spend a lot of time together as a family exploring the city, but 4 kids in downtown Portland is just plain scary. We had anticipated that we would drive less and walk/bike more, but where we live is very very hilly and not close to things like stores, work, restaurants. We do walk to the park frequently in the summer, but it is too wet to play at the park in the winter/spring/most-of-fall. We thought we would get out and do stuff in the rain because that had never stopped us before, but it is too cold/wet/slippery/dark to actually get out and do that with the kids. Obviously the big clincher was that the student loan repayment didn't pan out which was the main reason we had chosen that job. Overall, I think it was just the "surprise" after "surprise" after "surprise" that caused us so much frustration over the past year.

But, we have been happy and excited and have enjoyed so much of Oregon too!  I don't talk about this stuff with people as often because it is not as exciting and entertaining, but definitely an integral part of my thoughts on Oregon.
- Fall is truly the most incredible thing I have ever seen. For 2 months the leaves change to be one color, and change to another color, and change yet again before they fall.
- The rivers are so majestic and beautiful that your drive to anywhere becomes a scenic adventure!
- November and December were perfect...a chill in the air, the colors of fall and greenery even after the leaves fell, and a good mix of rain and sun.
- The kids have LOVED their school experience...they had incredible teachers, so many friends, and learned so so much!
- I love the way that our city was designed...everybody lives on cul de sacs, and there are walking paths that go between the backyards so you never have to walk along the roads. There are parks all over the place and greenspaces everywhere. I love that in Oregon, they don't just maximize the space for new development, they determine which part of the space should be preserved as greenspace and then build around it!
- I love the people! We were embraced with open arms in our ward and (most) of our neighborhood and immediately felt included. I already get teary thinking about leaving all of our friends! I have learned to ask for help, rely on people, and to reach out with open arms to help and serve without hesitation as people have done for us. My sweet cousin Dusti lived near us until they moved back to Utah last month and I am so grateful she was there. She is one of those people that makes you feel like you are doing her a favor to let her help you out. It was such a blessing to get to spend time with her and her family and get to know her better!
- Spring! I have never seen so many flowering things in my life! The trees flower, the bushes flower, the weeds flower, the rocks flower (ha ha...really it is just moss), and the actual flowers are enormous!!! It is so stunning! You walk out side and see rainbows of colors and hear the birds chirping and you can't help but be moved by how beautiful it is! It is exponentially more beautiful the 7 days of spring when the sun shines, but even lovely when it is cloudy.
- Summer is amazing! Everybody spends their entire life outside in the summer...eating on the patio, playing at the park, swimming at the lake, playing in the splash pads at the parks, walking around the neighborhood...it is lovely!
- We can see the temple out of our windows! We have LOVED being so close to the temple and having it within our ward boundaries. The kids love to walk to the temple, or spot the Angel Moroni from the car as we run errands. The visitors center is their favorite place to visit!
- We have loved being able to get to know the missionaries so well. We have them over for dinner at least once or twice a month, they teach FHE lessons at our house every so often, they call for rides...we love it and it is fun to be engaged in the work they are doing!
- Picking berries in Oregon is delicious, cheap, and fun...enough said!
- I love the farmland just south of where we live and would absolutely adore living there if it didn't mean a 1 hr. commute for Seth. There is more sun down that way too. :)
- OMSI is so fun!
- Waterfalls! Everywhere you look there are waterfalls. It is amazing!
- The Oregon Zoo is huge with so much to see!- The coast is close by and a perfect day trip for a mental reset!

There is so much else I could say about the wonderfulness of Oregon, but I have to get back to enjoying our time visiting family in Utah. Making this list has gotten me all excited to go back to Oregon and spend the next 2 months soaking it all in!

to Oregon and beyond

preface to this post: I started this post nearly 2 months ago before the last post I published on here, and have amended it a few times since. When I first wrote it, things were uncertain and I was feeling rather discouraged, but over the course of the last few months, so much has changed and Heavenly Father has blessed our little family with many sweet miracles. I wish I had posted it when I wrote it and updated as it changed to more accurately document the journey it has been to come to where we are now. But since I didn't, suffice it to say that while this year has been a trying one, as it has unfolded I have grown acutely aware that it has been part of a bigger plan for our family and has blessed us richly!

the view of Lake Oswego from Millennium Plaza downtown

We live in a gorgeous place! But, despite being here for almost a year now, I still have a hard time considering Oregon home. It feels more like and extended stay visit that we are constantly settling into. It has been quite a year. We have weathered gray skies outside and some gray skies inside too. We have made dear friends and have spent time exploring new things and enjoying the beauty around us. We have learned to live without family close by and to make the most of every chance we have to see them. We have written a lot of letters "home" and done a lot of skyping. We have had sticker shock over and over and over again as we have discovered just how much more the cost of living is here (say what you will about SLC, but it is a seriously cost-effective place to live). We have enjoyed having a lot of space in our home, but have come to the conclusion that we prefer a smaller home and the simpler life that allows. We have been severely lacking in Vitamin D and my camera has never been used at such high ISO's so consistently. We have shed some tears, struggled through frustrations, survived post-partum depression, and found so much happiness in the many opportunities we have had to serve here. We have watched our children blossom in every way. Each of them have grown so much while we have been here. Most of all, I feel like we have been guided by the spirit to be exactly where we are supposed to be.

But, as with many things in life, our plan for this adventure has not worked out exactly as intended. A big part of the reason we moved here was to pay off Seth's student loans. The clinic where he works is qualified to participate in a federal loan repayment program that offers loan repayment for a 2 year service contract in rural or underserved areas. You negotiate your salary with the employer so that you are getting a fair market salary and then apply for the repayment through the federal program separately. We had researched the program before Seth started school and had continued to follow it throughout his schooling and everything about the program had been consistent. So, when we received the offer we made the big move to Portland knowing that we would apply for the repayment in the "fall" when enrollment opened. At the beginning of December, we finally got the email about enrollment opening, but that email also came with some bad news: funding had been cut and the program had been restructured as a result. They would now award repayment based on your site's "score" (highest need sites receive a 21 down to lowest need sites at 0). Additionally, any sites with scores below 14 would also get $20k less for the 2 year commitment.

At the time, Seth's site score was a 9, so we continued as planned and just figured we would have to extend an additional year to pay that same amount. Fast forward a few months and the dreaded email arrived. 5600 applicants and only 1600 awards...if your site score is less than a 14, it is unlikely you will get repayment. A 9 wasn't looking so good, but what's more...his site's score had been reduced to a 4. So we considered our options: keep the current job and pick up a bunch of extra shifts for the next few years? Look for higher paying jobs here? Seek out other loan repayment opportunities at sites with higher scores?

Seth sent out his resume and the options started rolling in (he really hit the mark on choosing a marketable profession and being amazing at what he does!). Within a few short weeks, Seth had completed a variety of phone interviews and we were flying off to an interview in Tucson, AZ. We honestly had very little intention of it working out. We had an idea in our minds of what the offer would have to be for us to consider the move, and we were shocked when they made an offer that was better than we could have hoped. After much prayer and deliberation, we accepted the offer and once again, our little family is moving (this makes 3 moves in 13 months)!!

It has been a difficult decision to make. We will miss the amazing friends that have made our lives so rich and full, our fabulous ward and Seth's clinic that just adores him (so much that they are still trying to convince him to stay), our incredible neighborhood, our wonderful ward, the stunning scenery and the fabulous schools. But, we have discovered that moving isn't the end of the world...definitely a pain, but completely manageable. It still seems a little overwhelming, but we are ready for the adventure: enjoying every minute of a beautiful Oregon summer chock full of exploration and dear friends, a great big dose of SUNSHINE, and a gorgeous fall, winter and spring in Arizona!