Sleep...the ultimate quest

When I was pregnant with Lincoln and Ryder, there were a couple of things that I decided I didn't really need to worry about because I knew my body, had done my research and had the experience to back it all up x4. One was exclusively breastfeeding - which is going great. Check! The other was basic baby know how - which is sort of - eh. You pick a lot of it back up, but it would be a lot easier to implement if I had 2 extra hands. But overall, diaper changing, juggling a couple of baby carriers and a toddler, loading and unloading the car a million times a day, hauling what seems like the entire garage to soccer games or the park...we'll consider that one a check too!

Then there is sleep training. Morgan was not a good sleeper, but by the time Chloe came around, we were ready to make sure she was. And we got her, and Brynn and Ellie to be amazing sleepers early on...like 2-3 months old sleeping 10-12 hours at night early on. So, of course, I thought we were going to get these babies to follow suit. But it hasn't been quite that easy. First there was the issue of preemies who need to eat more often and aren't "allowed" to go more than 4 hours between feedings for at least a month. Then there is the issue of their "adjusted age" and being expected to use that as the benchmark...pushing everything back at least a month. And the fact that they shared a crib and now share a room and were waking each other up didn't help either. So I tried a new-to-me method of gradual elimination of night feedings specifically geared toward multiples. I started later than I would have liked because we were traveling when I wanted to start, but we started around 13 weeks old and over the course of a couple of weeks it started to work. With a lot of patience.

I felt like we were about 2 days away from completely eliminating all the night feedings and getting a full 12 hours of sleep at night for them (and 8ish hours for us) when we go the stomach bug at our house and our world turned upside down. A few days of 2-3 minute feedings every 60-90 minutes really threw that for a loop and the babies did not respond well when we tried to again start the gradual elimination method because they ended up with colds a few days after the flu finished its rounds in our house, which had them waking up throughout the night needing to have the boogers sucked from their noses so they could breathe. After about a week of that, they recovered and we started again with success...again. Probably just 2-3 days from getting a full nights sleep, the fussiness began. The screaming-bloody-murder, back-arching in pain for 1-2 hours unconsolably (even with feedings) a couple of times a day and a couple of times at night fussiness. Turns out reflux hit them hard, so we started the prevacid routine we have had to do with all of our other kids. With prevacid in their systems, the babies weren't waking up to eat, rather just waking up wanting their binki, or to be rolled over, or snuggled back with their blanket. In fact, by most standards they were probably each individually doing really well. They were both sleeping a long stretch from 6:30/7 until 11 pm-2am, and then waking up a couple of times and going right back down after attended to. The problem with twins is that two babies each doing well still equates to 2-4 night wakings for mom and almost never at the same times. (They are on a great synchronized schedule during the day, but for the purpose of sleep training, it is advised to let each baby go as long as he can to try and eliminate those feedings). Which brings us up to a couple of weeks ago.

Up to that point I had not slept longer than 3 hours in a row in 4 months+. But worse than that, 3 hours was on a really really lucky night. The typical was more like 1.5-2 hours in a row and totaling less than 5 hours a night...for 4 months. I was a walking zombie...a cranky, exhausted walking zombie. I would desperately search the babycenter forums for solutions, polled the facebook world for their ideas, and even checked out a couple of sleep training books to re-read. I was just too darn exhausted to do the gradual training method again. And somewhere in the midst of my exhaustion I thought...why don't I just trust myself to do this the same way I have done it with all my other kids. That way is the ferber method and letting them cry it out. I am happy to report that it is working. After almost 5 months of not sleeping more than 3 hours in a row, last night I slept 4.5 hours in a row! 4.5!!!! It was amazing. The babies are soooo close to not waking up at all. They go from 6:30/7-5:30/6:30 without a feeding every night, and they only wake up once (or not at all) each and go right back to sleep after a pat on the back and pulling the blanket back over them. I am trying to remember that even though twins are different, I still have to trust my instincts as a mom.

I guess what I am trying to say is this: sleep training twins is ridiculously hard. I think that a very effective form of torture is not allowing a person to sleep for months on end. And on that note, if I have said something stupid, offensive, ultra-opinionated, judgmental, or unsensitive in the last 5 months, please blame my lack of sleep and know that I am sorry and have not been myself. Seriously...the things that come out of my mouth when I am pregnant or sleep deprived are things the normal, well-rested me doesn't even think (excited that this fun facet of my personality gets to be gone forever!). I am looking forward to turning into a human again as sleep and I get reacquainted.