life illustrated

Thanks to all who have endured all of my rambling posts of working through the changes and emotions of adjusting and moving and change...this post will not require focus or concentration, just lots of pictures for your enjoyment! I have a bunch of pictures from Halloween too, but I will save those for a separate post.

P.S. I am loving all of the comments, emails and calls with advice from this post. I have lots to explore thanks to your suggestions, but still have some unanswered questions if you want to weigh in! :)

Yogurtland:
our favorite family outing for treats

Apple Picking at a family owned orchard nearby

I have been canning applesauce all week!

Pumpkin Patch: 
Brynn, Ellie and I got to go with some friends from our ward while the big kids were at school.

How about this one, Mom?

I can carry this one...kind of!

Look at me, I'm so cute!

Yep...you are adorable little Bean girl!

Playing in the Cul De Sac

Our house is on a circle that all the neighbors refer to as "the cul de sac" because it is completely flat so it is where everyone comes to ride bikes, play basketball, and play fetch with the dog. The kids, of course, love it too!

yes...that mischievous smile is because she was trying to run the photographer over!

fill 'er up...in Oregon, that is a paid profession!

Ballerinas

The girls love taking ballet and I love seeing them in their little leotards and tutus!
Don't mind Brynn's bed-head...we have to wake her up from her nap to go to dance.

just so you know

Ellie is 5 months old (I know, right? Where did the time go?).
She is smiley and happy.
She loves to coo and giggle at her big brother and big sisters and especially Dad and Mom.
She was the cutest little chubba bubba witch I have ever seen for halloween.
She loves applesauce...unless it is really cold and then she hates it.
She has taken a new liking to the jumperoo.
She rolls and scoots across the room whenever I lay her down...I am babyproofing.
She is so squishy you can't help but want to smooch her chubby cheeks and snuggle her chubs.
She is no longer sleeping through the night...but we are working on that.
She has 2 teeth.
She loves to make noises.
She is such a sweet little thing.
She makes this momma of hers so very happy.

Pictures will be coming soon!

the grass is always greener

If you haven't read my last post, I could really use your wonderful ideas, resources and advice, so make sure you scroll down and read it even if you don't read this lengthy post! Thanks!

My optimistic nature causes me to see the glass half full, look for the light at the end of the tunnel and have hope that things will all work out even when I can't see a possible way that they will. I know it is not the most endearing trait to have when someone wants to vent to you, but for the most part I think of it as a positive characteristic. But lately I wonder if my optimism could use a little tweaking.

For a few years, I have been looking toward the end of school, a bigger paycheck, a bigger house, a nicer neighborhood and more time to spend with Seth and the kids and friends and family. But now that I have all of those things, I find myself longing for the familiarity and comfort of that simple life we lived and the strength we found while we worked hard to accomplish it. I don't mean to sound ungrateful or spoiled or discount the good in all of these things that we have been blessed with, because there is definitely a lot of good, but I am learning that though the grass might seem greener on the other side, you really just have to find the good in whatever situation you are in.

I love our new house and our wonderful neighborhood. It is spacious and comfortable and everyone has their space. I love my pantry and my pantry closet. I love that we don't have to pull our dining room table away from the wall just to eat dinner as a family. I love that I don't have to remove furniture from our house to make room for the baby swing or the jumperoo and that my clothes have room to breathe in the closet. I love that we live on a quiet cul-de-sac where people play catch with their dogs and kids ride their bikes. I love not having any toys in the kids' rooms and closing the playroom door to contain the mess when we just haven't gotten around to cleaning it up. BUT oh how I miss the days when I could deep clean my whole house in a few hours...I am not sure I will ever get this entire house deep cleaned at once. When I could get ready for the day while simultaneously making sure the kids were eating breakfast and getting clothes on because it was just a few steps away to check on it. I miss snuggling close on the couch to fit a few more people in our living room. I miss using one mop head cover for my whole house...now I have to use 2 covers for one room. I miss watching the kids play on the blue swing in my backyard and the big space of driveway behind the fence where the kids could ride their bikes whether I was able to be outside with them or not. I miss my highly functional kitchen cabinets and drawers where every space was used in the most functional possible way. I miss my simple flat walls and white trim. I miss my garden plot. I miss how my windows lit up every corner of the room during daylight hours because the rooms were small and the windows were large. Here, I have to turn on the lights in my kitchen and living room during the day because the windows aren't large enough to light such a big space. I miss having enough lawn to justify a gas powered mower. And there I was for the last few years wishing I had a different bigger house, yet I still find myself wishing for the good old days living in my little house on 800 east.

I kick myself for all the times I wished we were done with school and had more time to spend with each other. Sure the demands of a full schedule were taxing, but we made the very most of the time we had together. We knew that we couldn't take on huge projects and the stuff that had to be done got scheduled in a way that we could still spend that time together. Seth's new schedule is taking some getting used to and it seems like with the regularity comes a lack of flexibility. Gone are the days when we could head out and explore the world sans-saturday-crowds on Seth's day off. Gone are the days of having kids home with with me during the day.  Now I spend my days running kids back and forth between home and school. And then there is homework and housework and dinner and bedtime routines and by the time Seth tucks the kids in bed I wonder if I have spent a single moment with them just loving them and enjoying them or if I just shuffled them through the day to get done what needed to be done. So I snuggle my little Ellie close to make up for what I have missed with the older kids. I coo with her and giggle with her and then whisk her off to bed when she has had enough and melt into the couch exhausted from the day's responsibilities. We have continued our tradition of "Pizza Movie Night" on Fridays, but even that is a giant undertaking. The closest Little Caesar's is about 25 minutes away in traffic, so just getting the pizza is quite an ordeal. I think of friends "back home": babies being born and challenges being taken on and fun things happening and I wish I were there to support, to love, to help and to enjoy. I wish that I could use the time I have to serve and give back to so many who have done the same for me. I think of the fun things Seth and I could do for a night out, but then the thought of finding a sitter or dealing with traffic overwhelms me and we instead spend our evenings at home working on projects, watching tv or alternating running errands. And while we are doing fun things and spending time together and making new friends, I find myself looking back so fondly on "back when we were in school".


I know that at some point I will probably think to myself again, "If we can just get through this..." (I am pretty sure I have caught myself thinking, "If we can just get through our time in Portland we can move back to Salt Lake and everything will be good" at least five times this week) and I am certain that my kids will use the line "I wish I were already..." and I hope that I will remember this blog post and the things I am learning during this phase of our lives so that I won't have to look back with regret about missing the gorgeous wildflower fields all around me because I was too busy trying to make my way over to the green grass. 

Because you are all super smart...

I need some help and since I know so many of you who read my blog are full of wonderful ideas and resources, I thought I'd put my questions here.

1. If I want to make crafty things (clothes, pillow shams, etc) using jersey knit, where would I buy the knit and more importantly what kind would I buy? I am always seeing cute things made of cute patterned knit and never know where to find it.

2. Lehi Roller Mills flour...can I buy this when I don't live in Utah and where? I miss just picking up super cheap giant bags of it at Costco in Utah. (sigh)

3. I recently decided that I hate all of my clothes and need to rediscover my style. I am sure it would help if I fit back in all my "skinny" clothes, but since we still have a way to go, I think I should start reworking my wardrobe in the meantime. This question is twofold: where do you go to find adorable clothes on the cheap and are there any blogs or pinterest boards or other places you look for style inspiration?

4. Along the style lines...I have lots of cute scarves and love the idea of wearing them, but I cannot for the life of me get a scarf to look cute around my neck. Any tips you can share?

5. If you were looking for a cheap piano on Craigslist (because you want the kids to start lessons soon, but know you will eventually move back to Utah and aren't wanting to move a piano) what "traits" would you watch out for? Obviously we want a piano that holds a tune, but how exactly do you test that out when you are buying used?

6. The girls have been wanting a barbie house for a long long time and now that we finally have the space for it, we are hoping that Santa will bring one to them for Christmas. What are the dos and don'ts of barbie house buying? I am fairly certain that I don't want anything that has a toilet that makes flushing noises or that has funky brightly colored wall paper. Wanting to go more the clean and simple route, but there are so many options and I don't know what to look for.

7. I am considering changing up my makeup routine. I need something simple and low maintenance that doesn't melt off of my face within a few hours. I am not sure I will ever get used to humidity. What are your makeup favorites?

Thanks in advance for your help and advice!

happy things

After what feels like an eternity of craziness, we are finally feeling settled. We have a routine, we have stuff to do to keep us busy, we can choose to work on projects in our free time...or not, and most of all we finally have more time to do the things that make us happy. I have approximately 5 minutes before I have to round up the troops, load them in the car and head out to pick up Morgan from school, but before I do, I wanted to jot down a list of things that are making me happy in no particular order:

having the missionaries over for dinner...3 elders from Utah, what are the odds.
visits from the fam
deciding on paint colors
spending time with new friends
catching up with old friends (miss you!!)
church callings...so excited to be back in young womens
cute haircuts for my little girls
$1 Dr. Pepper from McDonalds...with no sales tax, so it is actually just $1...why does that make me so happy? lol
a working fireplace
sweater weather...now I really need to unpack my box of sweaters
no longer fitting in my "post baby" jeans
the hope of eventually fitting back into my "skinny" jeans (which are not skinny jeans...just jeans that fit me when I am skinny)
pinterest...all those pinboards are coming in very handy now that I have room for decorations!
working my paint sprayer overtime for the sake of furnishing my house on a dime
distressing newly painted furniture
YOGURTLAND (or as Brynn calls it: Ogerland)
Little feet in rainboots
Ellie's babbling
going to the pumpkin patch
A midweek day off for Seth
My washer and dryer...swoon!
the playroom, and thinking about my grown-up little brother having more fun in the playroom than my kids (love you Michael!)
unpacking pictures...why did I leave them boxed up for so long?
Dreaming about making the kids coordinating halloween costumes
The realization that I can play the "we just moved" card and go to the store and buy cheesy costumes that will make the little ones jump for joy just as much as a cute costume I make.


Ok...time is up. There is so much more, but I am off to get Morgan!

Hope you are having a happy day...make a list, it is therapeutic!

First Day of School

First Day of First Grade

Morgan, 

You have taken to first grade so well. Every day when I pick you up from school, I ask you 5 questions:

1. What did you eat for lunch OR which part of your lunch did you eat for snack?

2. Who did you play with at recess?

3. What was your favorite part of the day?

4. What was your least favorite part of the day?

5. What is one thing you learned?

You probably don't realize it, but talking to you about the answers to these questions is one of the sweetest parts of my day and my way of coping with the fact that my little boy is gone for so many hours. Sure I have plenty of  kids to keep my busy while you are away, but I miss you and the funny things you do and say. The answers to these questions are also my way of making sure you are adjusting ok to a new school and new friends and new experiences. It is how I know what kinds of snacks to buy for lunches and how I determine which birthday parties we absolutely can't miss no matter what! You have made lots of friends and I love that you reach out to the "new(er than you) kids" because you know how it feels to be new and nervous. I love that you play with lots of different kids at recess (although you definitely have your favorites) and that you are so excited about the mealworms you are learning about in science. I love that your answer to question # 3 is almost always "all of it" and your answer to #4 is usually..."didn't you hear my answer to my favorite part?" 

In just a few weeks, you are already improving in so many ways...I never cease to be amazed at the books you can read/facts you know/logic you think through. I am so glad you got such a fun teacher who will make learning such a fun experience for you this year. I hope that you catch the vision of the books she will have you write and publish because I think that is the coolest thing ever and you come from a long line of writers, so I am certain you will do great at it! Have a wonderful year sweet boy...continue to make friends, listen to your teacher, stay excited about learning and ask lots of questions as you discover the wonder in this world.

xoxoxo, 

Mom

First Day of Pre-K (4 year old preschool)

Chloe, 

I have to admit preschool was at the top of my "things to stress about list" when I found out we were moving. As much as I tried to have everything in place before we left, the schools here were not open at all during the summer months, so I couldn't even talk to anyone to find out if there were openings until less than 2 weeks before school would start. I was quite devastated that you wouldn't have Miss Fidge, and I was certain that no preschool could live up to that experience. Daddy and I had a few options for schools that had one more opening for you, but when we compared the programs, we chose the one that was not only most convenient for me because it is in the same building as Morgan, but also the program that was most similar to the environment you would have gotten with Miss Fidge.

While the cost of preschool...which is called Pre-K here...was quite a shock to us, we are so thrilled with your teacher and your class. I was impressed that they would only take 10 students (and you were #10!) and I know that you love being in a class with 8 other girls and one darling boy (poor kid). You keep your teacher and your classmates laughing with stories, playing pretend and especially with the captions to your pictures for your about me board (I need to post those captions on here, because they are hilarious!). You are part of a "clique" at age 4...which kind of scares me, especially because I am so anti-clique. Everyday, I mention to you how important it is to include other kids even if they aren't your very favorite friend. That said, I am delighted at the cute little friendships you have made in a few short weeks. When we picked Morgan up from school the other day, one of your Pre-K friends came over, caught your attention and gave you a great big bear hug as you both squealed with delight at seeing each other. What a sweet and caring girl  you are. 

I don't have to ask you any questions about your day. You tell me everything and unpack your backpack on your way to get in the car to show me all the goodies you created in class. I hope you continue to listen to your teacher, make friends, include everyone and play nicely and I know you will have a wonderful year!

xoxoxo. 

Mom

Photography Note: Do you like how I strategically composed these images with no apartment in the background...ha ha ha! Kind of hoping we can forget those three weeks ever happened.

thank you notes

I have become quite terrible at writing thank you notes. I used to paper-craft a custom note and write something sweet and simple. But then I had kid and then another kid (and another and another) and I felt this need to meet some standard of perfectionism that I had created in my brain and since that standard was completely unreachable, I just stopped writing the thank you notes all together.

I have since purchased a few little boxes of thank you cards that I unpacked and placed in the desk drawer in my new "office" with the intention of getting back on board with thank you note writing (and other note writing) in a non-perfectionistic way. But, in the meantime, I have a lot of little "thank yous" that have been swimming around in my head. SO many people have reached out to us and been so kind as we have struggled through this transition and felt very isolated and alone. And, while I know these people will probably never see this little blog or know how they touched my life, I will feel better recording my thoughts and putting these thank yous on paper.

Sweet older lady who came to our table when we went out for birthday dinner: Thank you for taking the time to come to our table and tell me how beautiful my family is and that you had been wanting to come over and offer to hold our baby so I could eat my dinner without a child in my arms. Your kindness was noticed and appreciated.

Boeckman Creek (the school Morgan would have attended in Wilsonville) secretary: Thank you for your sweetness and for tolerating my children playing with all the toys on your desk while I filled out paperwork. You never once made me feel like we were disrupting your work/quiet even though I know we were.

5-6 Teacher at Morgan's school: Thank you for being so kind and caring and insistent when I was feeling so small. My girls loved playing with you and I was grateful for the short break.

Karen: Thank you for giving me your phone number and being so friendly within minutes of learning I was new in town. I am so excited to get to know you and hope our kids will be good friends. I don't know that I have ever met someone quite so welcoming as you, but I hope I can learn from your example.

New ward: Wow! I don't know that I have ever felt "home" in a ward so quickly. Thank you for noticing us, getting to know us, and making us feel welcome and important.

Mom: You are irreplacable. Thanks for answering the phone every day when I call.

Mandy: I need to call you back, but until I get around to it (you can't talk on your cell while driving here - ugh!)...your call came at a very appropriate time and was so sweet. Miss you much!

Blog and facebook commenting friends: I don't know if you realize how much I love reading your comments on my blog/facebook posts. I know that everyone loves to get comments, but being so far away from friends and family, each time I read a comment from one of you, I feel like what I am doing matters to someone. I think of you and the impact you have had on my life and gratitude washes over me. Thank you!

 Dusti: Thank you for saving my sanity by taking the kids on moving day. I don't know what I would have done without you!!! So glad you are close by!

Maggie's group girls: It is amazing to me how you can be such dear friends with people you have never met, but truly you are all wonderful and I am so glad that we met. If I had learned absolutely nothing about how to use my camera in our class, I would still have considered that money well spent for the chance to know all of you! Thank you for supporting me with your comments, prayers, kindness, understanding, listening and friendship. I cannot wait to meet all of you in person. It HAS to happen!

Stafford Ward home teachers: Thank you for coming by. Sorry it was crazy, but it really meant a lot to our family that you made the time to come and meet us! I think we should still be friends so I hope we see you around the stake.

Stafford ward elder's quorum: Thank you for helping us move in and for being so willing even though we had never met. Thank you for telling me how wonderful my peanut butter bars were (because cooking food that people enjoy makes me feel useful!). But most of all, thank you for bringing your children to help us move. I would have never thought to do that, but watching your little ones get so excited about carrying the light stuff (and sometimes even the heavy stuff) was a testimony to me of how important it is that we set an example of service for our children. I will keep that in my heart always.

I know there are more thank yous and lots of notes to write to specific people, but at least that is a start!

Wilsonville

Well, we are moved in to our new place and slowly but surely getting unpacked. The kids are loving school and  having a playroom and all of the wonderfulness of living in this new house, but all of it is so overwhelming to try and capture so I can share it with you here on the blog. I have a bunch of posts swimming around in my head that I haven't had a chance to jot down, so I thought I would start capturing the ideas - short and sweet - and get to the big stuff (first day of school, pics of the house, etc) as I can.

We lived in our Wilsonville, OR apartment for a total of 3 weeks. As I mentioned a few posts back, it was kind of awful. Apartment living is hard for a family of 6+dog and having a craptastic apartment is even worse, HOWEVER, we really fell in love with Wilsonville. It is way too far from Seth's work for us to have stayed there, but it was the perfect blend of small town meets big city. :) They had a costco (with gas, which is harder to come by around here), Target, multiple grocery stores, shopping close by, movie theaters, fabulous schools and decent city access, but there were these gorgeous farmhouses on acres of farmland with animals and crops. I loved the roadside stands selling fresh-picked tomatoes for $.50/lb. and the blackberry bushes lining the forest trail from our apartment to the dog park. It was so cool to be so close to the river and protected forest space even though you were in a developed little downtown area. Apparently there are outlet stores a few minutes away too, but I never got a chance to go (yet!). Anyway, the verdict is: I think we would really like to live in Wilsonville under different circumstances.