thoughts from a new {again} mommy

Ellie is 5 days old today and I am feeling...

hungry all.the.time
emotional in an i-love-life-so-much-it-overflows-right-out-of-my-tear-ducts kind of way
happy to be able to snuggle kids on my lap again
a little giddy every time I bend over and can still breathe
full of milk...ouch. How do I forget that this will happen every time I have a baby?
so happy to be able to sleep on my stomach again
smitten every time I see that cute little newborn face
the urge to squish baby cheeks all day long
still hungry...are there any more ice cream sandwiches in the freezer?
like I should avoid wearing lipstick for the next 6 months unless I want to keep wiping it off of Ellie's fuzzy little forehead
so thankful for my grown-up little boy...and my mostly grown-up girl...and my silly little girl
worried about surviving when Seth leaves for three days of out-of-state interviews this week
lots and lots of love
not so happy about the still-huge state of my post baby body

so in love with my husband
energized...and yet surprisingly content to sit back and do nothing but feel the expansion and collapse of a little chest on mine
hungry, hungry, hungry...and thirsty
skinny enough that maybe my "post-baby" wardrobe will fit and I can put away the maternity clothes...nope, sure can't...that was depressing

happy that Ellie brought the spring sunshine with her from heaven :)
motivated to capture the little pieces that make up our life right now...teeny diapers...itty bitty fingers...kisses from big sisters...endless requests to "hold baby sissy"...swimming lessons...piles of books on the coffee table...wet swimming suits on the bathroom floor
completely unmotivated to turn on the computer
content that the beauty of family outweighs all that is not good in this world

but mostly, I feel as if our family is just a little more complete. I wondered before she was born, how she would fit in with this little family of ours. Everything was so perfect it seemed...3 buddies...3 unique personalities...lots of independence...lots of helping each other...lots of fun and laughter and silliness...and lots of love. But again, a sweet new little life has filled voids I didn't know existed and multiplied love exponentially. What a beautiful blessing she is!

And right this very second, despite the emotional tears in my eyes from writing the thoughts of my mommy heart, my body and my baby are both letting me know that it is time for a feeding. I think I better grab a string cheese first...