whirlwind of crazy - random thoughts

Since we accepted the offer from Portland things around here have been a whirlwind of crazy. That Saturday we packed everyone up and made arrangements and Sunday (after visiting our fathers) we road tripped through the night all the way to Portland to look for houses. My sweet sweet cousin and her family let us stay with them and watched the big kids while we spent 2 full days with our realtor looking at house after house after house after house. We found plenty that we liked and a few that we loved and by Thursday we had narrowed it down to one we wanted to make an offer on. We are still in the process of the negotiation and praying (and trying to have faith) that we will get an offer on our house very soon, but it is nice to have a better idea of neighborhoods and be moving in the right direction of having somewhere to live once we get out there.

The kids are so excited about the move! Before we started our drive back to Salt Lake on Friday, I told Chloe we were going home and she asked...
"to our Utah home."
"Yes, that is the only home we have."
"But I don't want to go to our Utah home, I want to go to the 'bug house'" (the bug house is what they call the house we made an offer on. We took them with us to check out our favorites and they liked the idea of finding bugs in the forested backyard) she then added, "I do miss my grandmas though."

That is about how we all feel, I think. We are sure going to miss our family and friends (maybe we could just take you all with us?), but we are excited for more bedrooms, a playroom, a pantry, amazing schools, an amazing neighborhood/community, lots of new yummy restaurants, adventure and lots of new things to experience!


....


As of yesterday, Seth is officially back to work (he has been on paternity leave since Ellie was born). Yesterday was a rough day...we had to go to costco and target for groceries/misc. items because our fridge was empty. Me + 4 kids did not make for a fun shopping experience. There was lots of yelling, counting and time outs. Movie privileges were taken away and my stress level was off the charts. Then we got home and there was more yelling and privilege losing as the kids procrastinated cleaning their rooms until I had to just do it for them so we could leave for a showing. In the midst of all that I was dealing with counter offers and loan financing stress and just feeling overwhelmed and emotional (possibly related to post-partum hormones still running through my body and the fact that I was so busy I didn't have time to eat breakfast or lunch) and wondering how I would make it through the rest of the day, much less through a huge move. I had to make chocolate chip cookies to appease my guilty mommy conscience (and satisfy my starving tummy). I have a theory that if I make cookies on days when I feel like a sub-par mommy, maybe when my kids are older, they will look back on their childhood and remember that mommy made them cookies instead of remembering that mommy yelled a lot. Fingers crossed that my theory is correct!


...


Today was a better day. We had to run to Kohls this morning and we managed to get bathed, dressed, beds made, baby fed, toys put away and out the door without any yelling. Then Morgan picked a weed flower and gave it to Chloe as he was getting in the car, everyone was well behaved at the store, Chloe gave her flower to the cashier (which completely melted the cashier), and I fielded comments about how darling and well-behaved my children were and how wonderfully I handled so many children by myself. I chuckled to myself thinking...if only you had seen us yesterday! Then we were off to meet up with my friend and her kids for a picnic lunch at the park. The weather was perfect, there was a lovely breeze, the kids were well behaved, nobody got injured and it was fun to chat and catch up. We are happily enjoying those homemade chocolate chip cookies knowing that today they aren't making up for me being a cranky mommy, they are just a yummy treat.

Tonight my baby brother is going through the temple in preparation for leaving on his mission in a few weeks. I am excited to be there with him and to enjoy the spirit of the temple. Despite the whirlwind of crazy, I am trying to appreciate the happy little moments and countless blessings also present in our lives right now.

thoughts from a new {again} mommy

Ellie is 5 days old today and I am feeling...

hungry all.the.time
emotional in an i-love-life-so-much-it-overflows-right-out-of-my-tear-ducts kind of way
happy to be able to snuggle kids on my lap again
a little giddy every time I bend over and can still breathe
full of milk...ouch. How do I forget that this will happen every time I have a baby?
so happy to be able to sleep on my stomach again
smitten every time I see that cute little newborn face
the urge to squish baby cheeks all day long
still hungry...are there any more ice cream sandwiches in the freezer?
like I should avoid wearing lipstick for the next 6 months unless I want to keep wiping it off of Ellie's fuzzy little forehead
so thankful for my grown-up little boy...and my mostly grown-up girl...and my silly little girl
worried about surviving when Seth leaves for three days of out-of-state interviews this week
lots and lots of love
not so happy about the still-huge state of my post baby body

so in love with my husband
energized...and yet surprisingly content to sit back and do nothing but feel the expansion and collapse of a little chest on mine
hungry, hungry, hungry...and thirsty
skinny enough that maybe my "post-baby" wardrobe will fit and I can put away the maternity clothes...nope, sure can't...that was depressing

happy that Ellie brought the spring sunshine with her from heaven :)
motivated to capture the little pieces that make up our life right now...teeny diapers...itty bitty fingers...kisses from big sisters...endless requests to "hold baby sissy"...swimming lessons...piles of books on the coffee table...wet swimming suits on the bathroom floor
completely unmotivated to turn on the computer
content that the beauty of family outweighs all that is not good in this world

but mostly, I feel as if our family is just a little more complete. I wondered before she was born, how she would fit in with this little family of ours. Everything was so perfect it seemed...3 buddies...3 unique personalities...lots of independence...lots of helping each other...lots of fun and laughter and silliness...and lots of love. But again, a sweet new little life has filled voids I didn't know existed and multiplied love exponentially. What a beautiful blessing she is!

And right this very second, despite the emotional tears in my eyes from writing the thoughts of my mommy heart, my body and my baby are both letting me know that it is time for a feeding. I think I better grab a string cheese first...

remember...

I am a super slacker to post this stuff without pictures, but I know by the time I take the pictures and remember to post them, I will already have forgotten. So, I give you a bunch of random stuff I want to remember:

- I did Chloe's hair in big wavy curls today with a cute little fabric flower bow. She looked way too grown up. Every time I thought to take a picture she had chocolate ice cream or yogurt or macaroni and cheese on her face, so I didn't, and I am not sure I am ready to recreate it because I don't think I can handle another day of her looking so grown up. She was absolutely beautiful, though, and she knew it. All day she walked around telling everyone that she had pretty curly hair that her mommy gave her. It made my day that she was so happy about something I did for her.

- Brynn sucks her thumb. Not only that, but she loves stuffed animals. She loves to suck the noses of her stuffed animals. Every.single.time she picks up a stuffed animal (even off the shelves at the store if I don't catch her fast enough) she immediately opens her mouth and inserts the nose of the stuffed animal in it. You can tell her favorite stuffed animals by the wear on their noses. And, while it kind of drives me crazy, it is a sweet reminder that she is my baby and I know I will miss it when she gets big enough to stop.

- Morgan is reading like a champ! I love finding him sitting with a book and hearing him sounding out the words to himself, just because, or writing random lists of things and stories. I can take absolutely no credit for his active little brain and love of learning, because I don't do nearly as much as I should with him at home, but I love how much he loves learning. (I guess I can take credit for choosing the perfect school for his needs and driving him there every morning...that's a contribution, right?)

- I am 26 weeks along. That means I am entering my 3rd trimester...ummm, that happened REALLY fast! I saw the picture I posted a few weeks ago and coveted my own body. I am getting bigger every second, it seems, and all the wonderful stuff that accompanies the "huge" stage are appearing/continuing: daily heartburn, sciatic nerve pain, lack of breath, tossing and turning at night because I can't get comfortable, constant need to pee, fatigue and expansion of my legs, hips and bum. I keep reminding myself that I will eventually get back to my skinny body that can roll around on the floor and carry kids around and stand up without pain and something to hold onto, but it takes a lot of reassuring for my vanity to believe it.

- They are coming to measure for carpet this week. I can hardly believe we are this close, but I am so excited! We looked at carpet until I couldn't even tell the difference between the colors anymore (or maybe I just got so sick of it that I didn't care?), but I am excited to leave the next homeowners with something much better that what we have lived with for the past 6 1/2 years. All that is left is paint touch up inside, paint touch up outside, packing lots of stuff into a storage pod and some deep cleaning and we will be listing!

- Seth finished his rotations at the U of U ER. It was a really long 8 weeks of 7 days a week most weeks. The shifts were always longer than planned and it was extremely taxing on our family, but the next (and final) rotation is office hours 3 days a week, so he will only work 6 shifts a week (3 8 hour clinicals, and 3 12 hour work shifts). Crazy to think that I am excited about that being a "break", but oh...I am excited for the break!

- I cleaned out my fabric stash and now have a couple of large cuts of fabric that I would like to sell and some smaller cuts that I need to donate somewhere. Anyone know where to sell or donate fabric? Also...why do I buy so much fabric? must.stop.doing.that!

- I thought we had come to terms with forgoing loan repayment and staying in Salt Lake (because I really would prefer to just stay here and not venture into the scary unknown). But, in the best interest of our family and getting out of student debt sooner than later, I have been persuaded to consider out-of-state opportunities (Seth is very happy about this!). While it is still scary, I am growing fond of the idea of a new adventure for a few years. We will begin applying to positions this week. It will be nice to have some kind of plan and direction instead of being in complete limbo. If you have positive thoughts on moving outside of Salt Lake, please feel free to reassure me. My emotional state is like a rollercoaster and I can use all the positive energy around moving away that I can get! If you have negative thoughts...maybe it would be best not to share them right now. A few of the places we are applying: Portland, Seattle, California (a couple of places), Moab and Hawaii...Hawaii is a very long shot logistically, but we will apply and see what happens, and if we end up there, you all better come and visit us!

- I still love pinterest.

random thoughts at 23 weeks

Monday will mark 23 weeks in my pregnancy...more than halfway!

I am not sure what is so different this time around, but the whole thing just doesn't seem real to me.

Yes...I feel giant and have to wear maternity clothes. 

Yes...It is super uncomfortable to sleep and I wake up at least 10 times a night to reposition.

Yes...the sight/feel/smell of raw meat makes me gag.

Yes...I have crazy bad heartburn every.single.night (could this be a sign of a baby girl with hair? hoping!)

And yes...my sciatic nerve is pinched and forces me to stand up while still bent over and then straighten incrementally from there (Seth laughs at me...I am sure I look like a 95 year old trying to stand up)

But...otherwise, I feel really great! I have energy and I feel productive most days.

I can eat just about anything (except meat that I touched when raw and Dr. Pepper).

I don't need to take naps every afternoon just to make it through the day.

I no longer feel inclined to go to bed at 8:30 pm (most nights anyway).

We have no idea what to name this baby girl...and that DOESN'T stress me out.

I am not tempted to buy adorable outfits for her when we are out and about.

I am not feeling stressed that we have no idea where we will be living when this baby gets here.

I don't worry that we are supposed to be listing our house in less than 2 months (although I probably should).

I am not overwhelmed at the idea of hauling 4 kids to Dr. appointments and soccer games and swimming lessons and dance classes (ok...maybe a little overwhelmed, but it isn't keeping me up at night).

Usually when I am pregnant this is not the case.

I have come to the conclusion that all of this is a tender mercy from my Heavenly Father. 

A reminder that my little family is being watched over and cared for and that whether I worry or not, 

it will all work out...and more importantly, that His plan is better than mine anyway! 

A reminder that this road we are on right now, though it is difficult, is the one that we should be on.

A reminder that the long days and the sacrifices are all worth it. 

A reminder that I don't need to know all the answers or understand the whole plan to continue on in faith.
A reminder that I am known to Him...and He wants me to be happy.

Today has been a hard day: kids fighting, Seth gone to work for what seems like the 20th day in a row with no end in sight, messes in every room of the house, feeling lonely and depleted and impatient, and wishing there were something I could do to get everyone out of the house, but not having the energy for an outing alone on a Saturday...and then, the sun (literally) came out from behind the clouds, my house went from gray and bleak to sunny and happy and I could walk outside without a jacket and not freeze...and I knew that it was all going to be ok. I took a deep breath, made some lunch, and we all went outside and rode bikes and enjoyed the fresh air for 30 minutes before the clouds came back and we started to shiver,
and it was just what we needed. 

I am so glad for reminders like these that give me the strength to carry on.

And now...if you made it through my ramblings...some randomness in the form of pictures.

self-portrait of my 23 week belly (taken yesterday)
I am about the same weight as my pre-pregnancy weight before Chloe. Weird.

Another self-portrait of my belly...from a different perspective...taken today


and the more exciting stuff...
kids playing in the fleeting February sunshine this afternoon












Footnotes:

1. Morgan and Chloe got the matching monkey rainboots for Christmas...
Brynn's size was not available...
they are obsessed and wear them almost every day!

2. Chloe's blue striped jacket is from Old Navy's clearance rack yesterday...
time will tell if she is obsessed, but I can definitely tell you that I am!

3. You may have noticed that most of us are sporting some shades of pink or red...
the Valentine's day countdown has begun!

4. While I completely ADORE my new zoom lens, I am officially getting lazy when I shoot.
I am used to running toward/away from the subject to get the shot I want, but twisting the zoom is so.much.easier! Sadly, there goes my plan to lose the baby weight! lol!

5. I have determined that sunshine makes people happy...look at those great big smiles on their faces!

6. Yes...that is my car INSIDE of our garage. Both Seth and I park in the garage! I never thought the day would come that we would have a garage we park in, but I am so glad it has! You may also notice the completely open driveway...we said goodbye to Seth's mercedes a few weeks ago.
A little sad, but a lot of happy (and a lot more room to play on days like today)!

clementines

Yesterday my girls wanted to eat clementine oranges, so they sat at the table together, each with an orange in front of them. Brynn ripped right into her clementine, peeled the entire thing herself, and started to eat it. Chloe asked me to peel hers for her. I told her that she could do it (because she can and has many many many times before). Then I headed in the other room, and this is what I overheard...

C: "Brynn, could you peel my clementine for me?"

B: "Yeah."

C: "Thanks! You can have a tax."

(Seth and I take an orange tax when the kids have us peel their orange for them...one segment from each half. It started out as a way to encourage their independence and now they think it is super cool to pay taxes! lol!)

So my just-barely-2-year-old peeled the clementine for my almost-4-year-old.

And then the two of them proceeded to eat 3 lbs. of clementines in one sitting while I paid bills...

Thank heavens for costco!

Valentine's Day is my FAVORITE

I am sure that some of you out there already know this, but I am pretty much completely obsessed with Valentine's Day! I know some people hate it...and some people celebrate singles awareness day...but even when I have been single on Valentine's day, I have still always been a huge fan. When I was in 8th grade my mom gave me makeup for Valentine's day...which was a totally big deal, because until then I wasn't really allowed to wear makeup. When I was a sophomore my crush brought me a yellow rose on Valentine's day...it is the friend rose because we couldn't date because I was not 16 yet, but still, it was twitterpating and cute! When I was a senior I spent the evening making, frosting and delivering sugar cookies with a different crush's little sister. My first year of college I think I was dating 2 different people simultaneously...so Vday was a little complicated, but the next year, Seth and I were "not dating" and he gave me a live plant...a little strange, but he has more than made up for it in the years since...except the year that he decided to take part in a door to door vacuum presentation on Valentine's day which took the full 3 hours between when I got home from work and when he left for his night shift. Still, I LOVE Valentine's day!

Anway...remeniscing tangent there for a minute...since it is my favorite holdiay, I am celebrating with a Valentine's Day Photobooth. Do you remember this cute little valentine from last year?
(that space at the bottom is where he signed his name...
it was a homework assignment for the kids to actually sign all of the Valentines)

Well, so many people commented on it, that I am offering them to you this year! No more lame-o valentines! Here is the flyer for the photobooth...they are by appointment only and you will have the images PLUS your choice of super cute, designed-by-me, much-cuter-than-the-one-above, printable valentine cards 
before Valentine's Day! YAY!

You can also find more details about it at the smileabunch photography blog.

And, a little plea for help: I would LOVE your help spreading the word...since I can only take such a limited number of sessions this year, I am trying to keep up momentum by packing as many sessions as possible into this one day! If you send 5 people my way and they book a session, I will do your session for FREE! Please refer your friends and family to this link:

 http://smileabunchphotos.blogspot.com/2011/01/grab-your-sweetheart-valentines.html 

or my Facebook Fan Page for info!

THANKS!

I did a super quick practice shoot yesterday so I would have some pictures to use for the marketing,
and I have cute pics of all the kiddos, so I will post a few here when I get a chance!

catching up

Now that I am feeling a little more human

and a little less first-trimester-zombie,

I am catching up on things.

Things like...

cleaning my house,

decorating for Christmas,

buying the kids clothes that fit,

rotating summer clothes out of the drawers,

decluttering,

wrapping Christmas presents,

going through pictures,

updating the Project 365 blog!

What? There are updates on the Project 365 blog?

YES, friends! I have finally added some new pictures.

I am now more than halfway through September! Yay!

Today as I added each post to the blog, I got weepy.

Looking at each picture filled me with such emotion.

It is quite unbelievable to think that my little babies are literally growing up right before my eyes,

and yet, until I start looking back, I don't even realize how very quickly it is happening.

The tears flowed freely...partly because each image is so meaningful to me,

partly because of the pregnancy horromones,

and partly because I am so sad that I have not been

diligent in taking pictures every day since the beginning of October.

One could safely say that I have fallen off the wagon.

But I am feeling inspired today.

Inspired to capture those little pieces of life,

because they can't be recreated.

I must get them now or I will never get them back...not even the memory of them.

And I can't stand to lose a second of this sweet life while my babies are babies...

not a second of the tantrums, or the fights in the car,

not a second of the girls getting hard boiled eggs out of the fridge for a snack

only to crack them open and find that they weren't hard boiled after all,

not a second of kids going in to take naps only to hear them enacting some

grandeous storyline for an hour and a half behind their bedroom doors,

not a second of fighting over who gets to do which advent calendar today,

not a second of demanding the boots SHE wants to wear even if they

completely clash with her outfit (yes, all of this has happened in the last 2 days),

not a single second of this beautiful life!

Because in between these moments are the gems:

the sweet  mischevious faces 

and the sweet laughter,

the cuddles that come after time outs

and the delight when daddy gets home and little ones are still awake.

All of it is worth remembering, and loving, and crying about!

All of it is worth sharing and telling,
so I am making it a priority again.
Check out the project 365 blog for all of the pictures above and more,
and come back here soon for some of the more recent stuff,
like, oh, I don't know, how about Halloween...
or maybe we will just skip right to Christmas!

root beer candy

In the line at Hobby Lobby today there was one lonely bag of old fashioned root beer hard candy hanging next to the nasty cinnamon and horehound stuff, and I nonchalantly mentioned to Chloe that she needed to leave everything alone, but if she wanted she could grab that one bag on the bottom and we could share it. Of course, she took me up on the offer...and of course, I have eaten most of the bag of candies.

They are like the perfect amount of "something" to take away that nasty I-need-to-eat-or-throw-up-right-now feeling. And when it comes back, I just pop another one in! Plus it is like a little carbonation dance in your mouth...how do they make those candies actually taste like you are drinking a sparkly carbonated beverage? However they do it...awesome!

in conclusion: I love hard root beer candy today, pregnancy is clearly making me a little loopy, and I am really really missing my Dr. Pepper in all its carbonated glory.

Sometimes

like when I am sitting next to my husband watching fireworks from the middle of a wheat field out of the back of our car surrounded by 3 loud squirmy children who have his giggle and my eyes...

or like when the kids are napping and the dog(s - Roxy is visiting) are conked out snoring next to me on the couch and the sun is shining and the air conditioner is blowing and the gorgeous wildflowers on my table (that I picked out of my mom's garden) keep catching my eye because they are just so darn beautiful...

or like when little miss wakes up from her nap and all she wants to do is snuggle momma...

or like when the other little miss giggles like crazy from the backseat because she hears the big brother and sister laughing and she wants to  be just like them...

or like when the greatest man I have ever known prays for me to be successful with my photography in our prayers at night...

or like when I stand on the front porch of my sweet little house and feel like I am standing in a flower shop because I am surrounded by flowers on every side...

or like when I am singing the star spangled banner in church and I get so choked up I can't sing another word because it means so much to me be free to choose how I will live and worship and work and play and be...

sometimes in these moments I wonder if I might be dreaming this life

because it almost seems too good to be true

but it is never a dream, just a perfectly wonderful life

And yes, the rest of the time my life is filled with

someone throwing a tantrum on the kitchen floor

or pinching their sister for the umpteenth time today

or ripping pages out of books

or playing toss across the kitchen table with their watermelon cubes

or wondering when I am ever going to get a break,

or a date night with my husband,

or a bigger house,

or a vacation...

but you know what?

I like that part of my life too.

I'm not sure why I share this with the whole wide blogging world.

It is not to say my life is perfect...or to say that it isn't.

Mostly just to say that I am happy with this life I have

and to remind myself that there is a lot to be happy with.

Whirlwind

This week has been a whirlwind.

I can't even begin to fathom blogging all of the stories of our lives that I have been so remiss in recording, so it has come to snippits. Snippits of our week: the good, the bad and the ugly (reeeeeeally ugly today during Sacrament meeting).

Of course this isn't every single thing we did this week, just the highlights, but I feel the need to record them. The Project 365 blog is on my list for tonight to update...so you'll have to look there for the pictures! :)

First week of summer.

"I hate that I don't get to go to school every day mom" - Morgan

3 simultaneous photography classes (yeah...I'm a crazy person and no...I am not keeping up with everything very well).

Cooked meals every day.

Time spent with family and friends.

Annual Memorial Day family breakfast with Seth's extended family.

Chloe and I went on a date to shop for summer dresses and I felt completely renewed as a mother.

Sacrament meeting was a complete and total nightmare today...screaming kids, tantrums, crying, whining, spilling fruit loops...leaving me feeling completely drained as a mother.

Party for my 2 little brothers...1 graduated from high school this week and the other graduated from college last week.

Riding bikes in the backyard.

Taking time to enjoy (and document) the relationships my children have with the people around them (thank you photography class).

Enjoying (and even documenting) the relationship I have with my children (again, thank you photography class).

Loving my husband...for all that he is, all that he does, and all that we have shared together.

Picnic dinner+slushies from Sonic with Seth on his quick dinner break at the park where we had our first date. Slushies were spilled, toes were stubbed, and I didn't bring enough wipes, but it was fun!

Playgroup with cousins at wheeler farm.

Turning on the air conditioner for the first time this summer.

Planting a garden.

Ward activity that we weren't in charge of (which was utterly lovely all who were involved)!

Baking...cream cheese pound cake and cupcakes.

Grocery shopping with 3 kids in tow and feeling crappy.

Getting home from the store an realizing that I bought cereal, milk, and a whole bunch of crackers and bread. Don't shop when you feel crappy!

Did I mention feeling crappy?

Took pictures of Morgan with the rest of his preschool art.

Smiled remembering that each day of preschool was so amazing for him!

Cried remembering that my little baby is going to be in kindergarten.

Listened to a whooooole lot of whining.

Brynn whines...Chloe feels left out of the whining so she whines...Morgan feels left out of the whining so he whines...Mom goes to time out!

Played outside.

Drew pictures with chalk.

Lounged on the grass in the shade.

Yard sales: I kind of think I love yard sales. We got the garden store before they opened so we drove around to some yard sales. Found a colorful old suitcase and a picnic basket and a couple of other things to make my little picture-taking heart go pitter pat. LOVE!

Seth saw a dollhouse at a yard sale...and bought it for the girls.

Ran out of Dr. Pepper. Haven't made it to get more yet.

Dinner at uncle Michael's work to celebrate planting the garden.

Movie night at Grandma's house.

Had a long conversation with Morgan and Chloe about who would take care of them if I died and Daddy died and they were still little (obviously, I didn't bring this topic up).

Playdate with out of town cousins at our house.

Painted finger nails and toenails.

Cleaned the house....every 15 minutes...every single day...needs to be done again!

Remembered that I love wearing jewelry.

Made fresh flower bouquets for our house.

Post-surgery check-up for Brynn - everything looks great!

Happy birthday to my sweet Grandma!

Didn't get a whole lot of sleep...

hmmm...

I wonder why?

this blog is all about randomness

lately every single post is a "random stuff" post

maybe because my thoughts are so scattered, maybe because there is too much going on, but whatever the reason, here's another one to keep with the trend!

The other day I did something that Chloe wanted me to do and she said,

"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!"

It makes me happy that Morgan and Brynn want to hold hands in the car.
What doesn't make me happy is that Chloe is in between them...
she doesn't like it when they hold hands in the car.
Have you ever experienced Chloe when she doesn't like something?

I like to take baths every day instead of showers (it is my little way of pampering myself)...
every day when I am in the bath, Chloe comes in and gives me "bath kisses" over the side of the tub.
I love her.

The kids went on a little adventure with Grandma Becky and Grandpa John a few weeks ago and they told me about this conversation when they got back:

Morgan: "Grandpa, you have a bald spot on the back of your head just like Chloe, but hers grew back.

Will yours grow back too?"

Gma Becky: "Well, sometimes boys start losing their hair when they get to be grandpas."

Morgan: "Hmm, I wonder what will happen to my hair when I become a grandpa?"

My kids really like each other.
When Seth asked Morgan where he wanted to go on his birthday Daddy date,
he said, "Can Chloe and Brynn come too."
This is why I will continue torturing myself by having my kids so close together!

A few days later, they were learning about careers in preschool and I asked Morgan

what he wanted to be when he grew up:

"I want to be a grandpa."

I told him that he can be a grandpa and have a job too.

"I want to be a grandpa AND a dad."

Poor Brynn is sick again. Same ear infection/sinus drainage type deal.

She is scheduled for surgery on Wednesday to get her tubes replaced and her adenoids removed.

We are so so so excited to get it over with.

I stay pretty focused when I go grocery shopping. I make a list, get what is on my list (and sometimes what I forgot to write on the list) and get out. But for some reason
Hostess crunch mini-donettes
ALWAYS call my name. If I see a box, I will buy it.
Since I hate grocery shopping, it is like my $3 pat on the back for doing it anyway.

Brynn thinks she is all grown up.

She wants to sit up to the table like the big kids, drink out of a cup like the big kids, sit on the couch like the big kids, climb on the table like the big kids, play with cars like the big kids, hold a wii-mote like the big kids, wear bracelets and dress ups like the big kids, help "load" the dishwasher like a big kid, play in the sandbox like the big kids, play the piano like the big kids. Oh how much we love her, but she is still a little baby to us.

I love gardening...

the dirt, the blooms, the flowers that will soon be strawberries, the idea of seeds becoming beautiful plants,

the promise of summer cooking, the ugly grayish brown dirt patch that will soon be green and producing fruit

did I mention I love gardening.

And a bit of random love...

I am sitting here next to my little baby boy and wondering who gave him permission to grow up.

He is reading...really reading. h-a-d...haaaddd...had.

All by himself. It is so wonderful!

He started "reading" a long time ago...you know the kind of reading where you recite a book from memory because you have read it so many times.

And then he started sounding out words about a year ago...

but he needed help to actually squish the sounds together into a word.

But in the last week he figured it out and now he can read lots of short words all by himself.

A minute ago he was coloring pictures for me...

pictures of my face next to Seth's face

with the words "mom" and "dad" and hearts all over the place.

Then he brought me a picture of our family:

me and Seth with his hand traced around us like a frame

and Brynn (with a B next to her) and Chloe (with a CLE next to her)

and hearts all around.

He said, "The hearts are to show that I love you."

I don't mean to bore you with random facts or brag about how super-de-duper my kids are,

but I have been trying to look for the good in this little boy

(to try and balance out this mischevious stage he is in),

and I found it! And it is wonderful! And so is he!

***

On a different note, I am pretty lucky to have really wonderful brothers,

and my Mom has always been more like a best friend than a mom,

but I never had a sister.

I always thought it would have been fun to have a sister with whom to share clothes,

and talk about boys, and go shopping and watch chick flicks,

but I never really knew what I was missing until I had 2 girls.

Two little girls with great big hearts who share something special.

They are sisters forever and ever.

And while they bicker and steal each others toys and get overly dramatic because

"she is touching me"

they love each other like crazy!

Today in the car, I saw in the rearview mirror, Chloe reach over to pat Brynn's head and smile at her and I got teary thinking what lucky girls they are to be sisters
and what a lucky girl I am to be their mommy!

I'm nicer on Mondays

It probably seems a little strange to say this, but I think I am nicer on Mondays.

I think it probably has something to do with Sundays.

Maybe it is because Sundays (even though they are busy) remind me what is really important.

Maybe it is because I almost always shed a few tears during church on Sundays.

Maybe it is because we spend time with extended family on Sundays.

Maybe it is because Sunday is Seth's only day off all week.

Maybe it is because that means I get to sit next to him for 2 full hours and hold his hand.

Maybe it is because I like to make treats on Sunday.

Or, maybe it is because I update the picture blog on Sundays forcing me to go through my pictures from the week and enjoy the memories.

But whatever the reason, I am glad it is Monday, because I feel nicer today!

-Random-

I am slacking...mostly because I have nothing exciting to share...

but, I posted my all time favorite frosting recipe on my recipe blog

and I updated the picture a day blog.

So I guess that means I am not entirely a slacker ;)

Here are some random thoughts to get by until I have something exciting happening around here...

just to clarify, even though the bachelor makes even me cringe with how rediculously cheesy it is this season, I have still planned my night around the fact that I have an appointment with the TV from 7-9 pm.

Fun fonts on my blog...LOVE!

Chloe's hair looks sooooo cute lately... thick and blonde and

almost grown out enough that you can't tell there ever was a blad spot.

Morgan thinks it is time to graduate from napping

I don't think it is time for Morgan to graduate from napping

This causes much distress at our house in the afternoons

Brynn is still my little teeny beanie, but now she is my little anemic teeny beanie and has to take iron supplements twice a day which make her throw up...not awesome!

This is the last week of the photography class I am taking (tear, sob, tear)

Pretend play is all the rage around here...

post office, house, picnics, doctor, princesses, grocery store, firefighters, pirates...

oh.so.fun

Mean yelling mommy is back in full force...can somebody PLEASE send her to time out!

2 kids need new full wardrobes because they have completely grown into a new size since the new wardrobes they got in December,

My wonderful wonderful car was on the toyota recall list and my first thought when I heard was,

"I'll just drive really carefully until they have a solution because I am not giving this baby up for even 1 day!"

Don't worry...it hasn't had any problems...all is well!

My FAVORITE holiday of all is this week!

And yes, I have been wearing Valentines Day colors for the last week to celebrate!

Nope, it is not a coincidence that I have worn pink, red, white, or a combination of them every single day.

Took down the Christmas cards today...finally...and it was still sad!

We have got some seriously amazing people in our lives that we are fortunate enough to call friends

 and we love you all so much...

It has been like eating every meal with you when your Christmas Cards were hanging in our kitchen!

I have spring fever! Ready for sunshine and green grass and gardening and refinishing furniture and trips to the park and bike riding and BBQs and stringing Christmas lights over our patio and hanging colorful garlands outside and feeding the birds and walks and swimming lessons and flip flops and sidewalk chalk and fresh herbs and leaves on the trees! So so so ready for spring!

Alive...

and well

and super duper busy!

If I told you I would do your photo shoot and I haven't gotten back to you with a date yet...

just know I didn't forget you, I am just running behind...

perpetually

{but hopefully not permanently}

My house is a complete mess

and my kitchen sink would make flylady gasp in horror!

I get to help in preschool tomorrow,

need to do the taxes

(well, gather all the paperwork and input the info into the form so my accountant can do the taxes),

schedule a playdate with my sewing machine (miss you my friend),

and a playdate with my living/breathing friends,

and re-finalize all the details of the upcoming ward party that I had already finalized once

(or thrice, but who's counting).

On the other hand...tomorrow is Thursday...

which means NBC Thursday night...

and that I will probably not address

anything on my list.

Also...on a completely unrelated topic...this season of the Bachelor...gag!

And yet, I watch?

Trunk-or-Treat and Momma Scissor-Hands

Here are some pictures from the fated Trunk-or-Treat that consumed our lives for the last couple of weeks.

Morgan in his spider costume walking the runway during the costume fashion showLittle Miss B in her Ladybug costume sitting on the table during dinner, of course. And, yes, those are twinkle lights...and real carved pumpkins on the tables as centerpieces next to the water jugs with eyeballs floating in them...

this activities committee knows how to throw a PARTY!

(seriously, though...those of you on the committee...you totally rock!)

And...since I didn't snap a single picture of Chloe in costume when she wasn't shoving treats in her mouth/all over her costume, I decided to show you her haircut from this week instead. No cookie cutters haircut for this girl...her momma got sick of the mullett and whipped out the scissors! She is finally back to where she was about 18 months ago...with a little bit of residual shortness on her right side. But, hey, it is looking better every day!

The kids are costuming up for Grandma Colleen's Halloween Party today, (after some modifications to each of the costumes from trunk-or-treat wear and tear) so I will make sure I get some good ones of everyone in costume. I know you are in suspense!

And now I will leave you with some random thoughts and observations...

This morning while I am typing this blog post is the first time my kids have turned on the TV (really, they never watch TV, only movies, but we call it TV) since Sunday. I want to remember this moment so I don't feel quite so bad on the weeks where they watch a movie every day.

Made this recipe last night...mmmm! Adoreable and delish!

I know my library books are overdue, but I don't know how overdue they are.

Even though we don't need to be anywhere until 11:00 today, we will still be rushing to get ready and probably late because I am enjoying lounging WAAAY too much!

The new facebook layout is really driving me crazy. And, on a similar note, why can I not convince my hubby to be my friend on facebook.

My puppy-dog faced-request, Please be my facebook friend sweetie...

was met with, I am a face-to-face friend only!

Yesterday I went to make this rice and poured everything into the rice cooker...without the removeable bowl (yes I poured it directly into the heating unit part). The worst part...I didn't realize that the bowl was missing until I had turned the cooker on and closed the lid and found the bowl sitting next to it in a puddle of liquid draining from the cooker. (Apologies if this is confusing...it was one of the blonder things I have done in a very long time) I have always wondered why they would even need the sticker on the cooker that says "to Prevent Shock, cook only in removeable container"...what stupid person would...oh, yeah, me!

Grape juice canning is complete...

if you have grapes and want to give them to someone to can...do NOT call me!

How is one to decide what to wear when the weather changes its mind so frquently throughout the day?

Yesterday I had my kids skip naptime so I could put them to bed early.

I did that so that I could watch the Thursday night NBC lineup, uninterrupted.

It was so worth it!

Jim's costume...always a classic!

A Random Observation

I've been going through all of the endless photos I took throughout the summer getting them captioned, tagged and filed and made a random observation....

Chloe's hair has indeed grown. A LOT!

BEFORE : (April of this year):

AFTER (3 weeks ago):

Every day when I attempt to turn whispies into "piggies" I feel as if the fates have conspired against me...and that she will never have any hair, solely because I really want her to so I can make it cute! But, thankfully, there is proof in the pictures that this is not the case. Sure she is still a little more bald on the right than the left and her hair in front is a little skee-wompus due to the right/left imbalance, but at least it is growing.

And, hey, with those eyes who needs good hair?

Hope for the hopeless!

Going, Going, Gone

All of a sudden, I feel as if I am watching my life fly by me.

My kids are growing up a little more every day and I wonder why they seem so old. Things have been crazy around here. Church callings, Seth at work, pre-school, playgroups, family canning, cooking, planning, harvesting, other church callings, Seth at school, laundry, commitments, friends, play-doh making, grocery shopping, cleaning...

Please Slow down, time.

I need more time to enjoy Chloe singing songs, hosting tea parties, calling every dress she owns a "dancing dress", twirling around the house with her dollies...and me...and daddy...and Callie, playing pretend, reading book.after.book.after.book.after.book and quoting disney movies.

I need more time to enjoy Brynn doing the elephant crawl all over the house, scooting herself backward while she is sitting up, stacking rings, filling buckets with blocks and then taking them back out one at a time, grunting for food in between bites, and giggling like crazy just because big brother or sister are.

I need more time to enjoy Morgan telling me every detail of his day at preschool, demanding bedtime kisses before I leave his room at night, getting so excited about the scripture stories, asking if he can dust the house...or water the flowers...or clean the leather couches, his silly giggle, his delightful sense of humor and his rediculously bright logic that either leaves us laughing hysterically or beaming with pride.

I need more time to enjoy the sunny days, harvesting my garden veggies, delighting in the daisies blooming all over my yard...but especially the happy gerber daisies by the front door, my beautifully lush and green backyard, trips to the zoo, picnics in the park, flip-flops, and middle-of-the-week movies with my sweetie because it isn't quite time to study for midterms yet. :)

But, alas, time doesn't stop or slow down. It just keeps spinning on. The sun is setting earlier, the nights are getting chillier and before I know it, September will be gone...and soon enough, these moments will be replaced with new moments that I'll want to cherish and savor. So, I must slow down and take it all in. I must enjoy every second of this life...right now...because it is lovely and wonderful and fleeting...and I don't want it to pass me by before I take the time to enjoy it!

I always thought

...that canning food saved you money. That is, until Seth planted 16 tomato plants in this year's garden and they all started producing at the same time and I had to start buying a dozen or two bottles a week, just to keep up (not to mention the time it takes to can). Nope...canning is not an inexpensive endeavor!

I bet next year when I am reusing bottles I will feel differently, and besides, stewed tomatoes sure look pretty in mason jars! Next project: cute jar labels!

Eloquence

I just love, love, love reading this blog! A post from earlier this week (that I am just reading today...I know) just struck me to the core. What a beautiful moment it is, when you read a collection of words that together, describe an emotion so perfectly that you can instantly feel it yourself. And it is so familiar that you know you have felt it before, but didn't know how to describe it. Not until now.

True eloquence.

P.S. Seth, now you know why I cry so much!