Every single day, I feel like I am uncovering evidence that the nicer, more tactful, thoughtful, caring, optimistic, non-judgmental, organized, productive, listening, serving, fun and energetic version of me is still in here somewhere. This is very good news considering this version of me has been missing for almost a year and a half now (not surprisingly, about the same time I got pregnant with Brynn and we started building our garage) and I was beginning to think she might be gone for good!
So happy you are back, better version of myself, now can you just help me find the more patient version of me who didn't yell?
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Feeling Glad
Some days are hard - really hard - for no reason at all. Some days, after my kids fall asleep, I just want to fall into bed and not wake up until they are grown up enough that I don't need to do everything (or almost everything) for them. But then then, there are the moments - that come quite frequently even though I often don't recognize them for what they are - when I just feel glad.
Today, right now, I am feeling glad.
Glad that I am married to the man I love. Glad that he still makes me laugh, that hanging out with him is the highlight of my life, and that I still get excited for him to get home at the end of the day. Glad that my name is "mommy". Glad that, even though it is hard work, I get to be here to witness my kids learning and growing every single day. Glad that I so frequently stop in awe and amazement of the strength, character and love that I see in my 3 sweet babies. Glad that I am also just "Jen" and that I finally realize that that role is just as important as wife or mommy. Glad that I have had a beautifully blessed life filled with fond memories, dear friends and family and so so so much love. Glad that I have time - right now - whether good, bad, or anything in between and I can choose what to make of it. Glad that I can look forward to tomorrow (and especially 21 months from now) with hope and excitement. Glad that I am able to serve...very very glad. Glad that I know what I know...and that there is so much more to learn...every single day.
Today I am glad, even though it has been a long day, I am glad. There is nothing extraordinary or earth-shattering about life right now, but it is sweet and wonderful and I want to always remember that it is the simple things in life that make me glad
Today, right now, I am feeling glad.
Glad that I am married to the man I love. Glad that he still makes me laugh, that hanging out with him is the highlight of my life, and that I still get excited for him to get home at the end of the day. Glad that my name is "mommy". Glad that, even though it is hard work, I get to be here to witness my kids learning and growing every single day. Glad that I so frequently stop in awe and amazement of the strength, character and love that I see in my 3 sweet babies. Glad that I am also just "Jen" and that I finally realize that that role is just as important as wife or mommy. Glad that I have had a beautifully blessed life filled with fond memories, dear friends and family and so so so much love. Glad that I have time - right now - whether good, bad, or anything in between and I can choose what to make of it. Glad that I can look forward to tomorrow (and especially 21 months from now) with hope and excitement. Glad that I am able to serve...very very glad. Glad that I know what I know...and that there is so much more to learn...every single day.
Today I am glad, even though it has been a long day, I am glad. There is nothing extraordinary or earth-shattering about life right now, but it is sweet and wonderful and I want to always remember that it is the simple things in life that make me glad
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Seven Months of Sweetness
I can't believe that my little Brynn is already 7 months old. Every time I turn around she has learned something new and looks more grown up and I wonder where my little baby girl has gone!
At her 6 month appointment (which was actually closer to 6 1/2 months) she was 17 lbs. 8 oz. (68 percentile) and 26.5 inches long (64 percentile). Those of you who held my other kids when they were little are probably asking, Really? Yes, really. If she didn't have those big beautiful blue eyes like Chloe I might wonder if she were actually switched at the hospital (anything is possible when you don't have your sharpie marker ready to mark your baby as it comes out - hehe - I am getting kind of excited for the new season of The Office). Just in case you don't remember...Morgan was 22 lbs. at his 6 month appointment, and Chloe was just under 21 lbs at her 4 month appointment. Apparently, my body has decided to make 2% milk instead of ice cream!
Brynn is just a little spark of light in our home. She has the sweetest giggle and the greatest belly laugh (which reminds me so much of Morgan at that age). She is so happy and easy going and loves to observe the world around her. All you have to do is smile at her and her whole face lights up and smiles a big giant grin back at you! She says “dada(dadadadada)” and I am pretty sure she has said mimicked some other words quite clearly, but since has only said them once I don’t think they count. She loves to play with her turtle book/toy, Chloe's My Little Ponies, her Jungle ball activity center, and my laptop keyboard. She could spend all day giggling back and forth with Morgan or laughing excitedly as Chloe puts on a dance performance for her. She doesn't hate her car seat nearly as much as she used to, and she will finally take a bottle every once in a while to give mommy a break.
Her 1st tooth broke through on Monday and she has been having all sorts of fun chewing stuff up ever since. She does a great job at picking up finger foods and feeding herself but she always wants to eat whatever I am eating. She grunts/screams for a bite of your food until you give it to her (just like Chloe used to do...I am sure my family will know what I am talking about if they think of Chloe's first Thanksgiving dinner.) She especially loves freeze-dried fruit, fresh fruit, cheerios, goldfish crackers, yogurt and potatoes. Her fuzzy head is actually growing some hair and I am getting my hopes up that I may be able to start putting bows in her hair by Christmas time (fingers crossed).
She is a fabulous sleeper and sleeps from about 8:30/9:00 pm to 7:00 am most nights and then goes back down for a long morning nap after breakfast and some playtime with Morgan and Chloe. She still sleeps on her tummy, and loves to suck her thumb. She will take a binki if you give her one, but she prefers her thumb. She has been sitting up for over a month now and is rocking back and forth on her hands and knees in preparation to take off crawling for real instead of just army crawling all over the place. Despite her good nature, she is starting to show some serious spunk and I am starting to get really worried about my capacity to handle 2 little girls with so much spunk!
I still don't feel "adjusted" to being a mother of 3. I never have enough hands, patience, time or sanity, but I can't imagine our family without Brynn. She is such a joy and a beautiful girl. She has such a great capacity to love, and I am in awe as I observe the amount of love she shows to each and every member of our family, despite her very young age. It is hard to imagine that a 7-month-old child can make so many individuals feel that they are the most loved and special person in the world, but she does. I love to see the relationship between Chloe and Brynn evolve and I know that they will not always get along, but they are going to be the best of friends like only sisters could be. Thanks for being a part of our family Miss Brynnie...we love you more and more every single day!!!
At her 6 month appointment (which was actually closer to 6 1/2 months) she was 17 lbs. 8 oz. (68 percentile) and 26.5 inches long (64 percentile). Those of you who held my other kids when they were little are probably asking, Really? Yes, really. If she didn't have those big beautiful blue eyes like Chloe I might wonder if she were actually switched at the hospital (anything is possible when you don't have your sharpie marker ready to mark your baby as it comes out - hehe - I am getting kind of excited for the new season of The Office). Just in case you don't remember...Morgan was 22 lbs. at his 6 month appointment, and Chloe was just under 21 lbs at her 4 month appointment. Apparently, my body has decided to make 2% milk instead of ice cream!Brynn is just a little spark of light in our home. She has the sweetest giggle and the greatest belly laugh (which reminds me so much of Morgan at that age). She is so happy and easy going and loves to observe the world around her. All you have to do is smile at her and her whole face lights up and smiles a big giant grin back at you! She says “dada(dadadadada)” and I am pretty sure she has said mimicked some other words quite clearly, but since has only said them once I don’t think they count. She loves to play with her turtle book/toy, Chloe's My Little Ponies, her Jungle ball activity center, and my laptop keyboard. She could spend all day giggling back and forth with Morgan or laughing excitedly as Chloe puts on a dance performance for her. She doesn't hate her car seat nearly as much as she used to, and she will finally take a bottle every once in a while to give mommy a break.
Her 1st tooth broke through on Monday and she has been having all sorts of fun chewing stuff up ever since. She does a great job at picking up finger foods and feeding herself but she always wants to eat whatever I am eating. She grunts/screams for a bite of your food until you give it to her (just like Chloe used to do...I am sure my family will know what I am talking about if they think of Chloe's first Thanksgiving dinner.) She especially loves freeze-dried fruit, fresh fruit, cheerios, goldfish crackers, yogurt and potatoes. Her fuzzy head is actually growing some hair and I am getting my hopes up that I may be able to start putting bows in her hair by Christmas time (fingers crossed).She is a fabulous sleeper and sleeps from about 8:30/9:00 pm to 7:00 am most nights and then goes back down for a long morning nap after breakfast and some playtime with Morgan and Chloe. She still sleeps on her tummy, and loves to suck her thumb. She will take a binki if you give her one, but she prefers her thumb. She has been sitting up for over a month now and is rocking back and forth on her hands and knees in preparation to take off crawling for real instead of just army crawling all over the place. Despite her good nature, she is starting to show some serious spunk and I am starting to get really worried about my capacity to handle 2 little girls with so much spunk!I still don't feel "adjusted" to being a mother of 3. I never have enough hands, patience, time or sanity, but I can't imagine our family without Brynn. She is such a joy and a beautiful girl. She has such a great capacity to love, and I am in awe as I observe the amount of love she shows to each and every member of our family, despite her very young age. It is hard to imagine that a 7-month-old child can make so many individuals feel that they are the most loved and special person in the world, but she does. I love to see the relationship between Chloe and Brynn evolve and I know that they will not always get along, but they are going to be the best of friends like only sisters could be. Thanks for being a part of our family Miss Brynnie...we love you more and more every single day!!!Thursday, August 20, 2009
I know, I know...
it has been a long time since I have posted - again! I am pretty sure it is Facebook's fault. Or, maybe it is vacation's fault (I know, since when did the Tates take 3 vacations in one summer...oh, yeah, never!).
We just got back from a(nother) LOVELY trip to the beautiful Monterey, CA area. High 70s/Low 80s every day, 30 minutes from the beach, and fun times with wonderful friends! We stayed with our friends, the Banks, and brought all the chaos of 3 kids on vacation (and off their sleep routines) to their quiet house out in the country. We had so much fun relaxing, spending time together, and just enjoying life!
Happy Happy Family Vacation!
Our wonderful walk along the coast in Monterey Bay!
Hanging out at the most lovely home ever! Thanks Derek and Angie for letting us stay with you!
Picking strawberries and raspberries at a super cute little pick your own produce farm.
Morgan didn't want to look for a Monterey Bay Aquarium Family Photo...such is life!
Fun times at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. We bought a pass last time we were there (because it was cheaper to buy a pass than to go twice) so this time we knew what we wanted to see and spent the rest of the time in the play areas! So much fun!
And, what would a vacation to California be without a trip to the beach! We lucked out with the most beautiful day ever for a beach trip! The kids (all of us, really) had so much fun playing in the sand and jumping over the waves. Seth, Derek and Angie did some body surfing. Chloe loved jumping the waves fearlessly and collecting seashells to bring home, Morgan really liked building things in the sand and watching the big kids play in the water, and playing in the water himself - as long as Mom was right there with him. Chloe made Angie and Porter join her for many MANY tea parties (basically a birthday party in the sand, with a colorful cake). Porter was a perfect little beach baby...so so cute...can't wait to set him up with Brynnie in 16 years! :) Brynn got suncreen on and then ate and slept, under the stroller shade the whole time...good thing we covered her with sunscreen so the sand could stick to her. And I had a blast playing in the waves with the kids and Seth! The beach is awesome!
We planned to drive the hour and a half to see Seth's sister Bethany, and her family, on Sunday and go to church with them. Their little baby boy decided he wanted to be there to meet us and was born at 1:30 am on Sunday. We were able to spend the day with the new big sister, Amelia and then go and visit baby Rion (like Orion without the O). The hospital wouldn't allow any kids under 12 to visit unless they were siblings, and they were pretty bummed out about it, so we had to stop back by and let them hold him on our drive back home on Tuesday. When Chloe held Rion, she looked at me and said "He is sleeping, Mom" and proceeded to sing very softly to him Rock a bye baby in the tree tops,
when the wind blows the cradle will rock...
A dream is a wish your heart makes,
We just got back from a(nother) LOVELY trip to the beautiful Monterey, CA area. High 70s/Low 80s every day, 30 minutes from the beach, and fun times with wonderful friends! We stayed with our friends, the Banks, and brought all the chaos of 3 kids on vacation (and off their sleep routines) to their quiet house out in the country. We had so much fun relaxing, spending time together, and just enjoying life!
Happy Happy Family Vacation!Our wonderful walk along the coast in Monterey Bay!Hanging out at the most lovely home ever! Thanks Derek and Angie for letting us stay with you!Picking strawberries and raspberries at a super cute little pick your own produce farm.Morgan didn't want to look for a Monterey Bay Aquarium Family Photo...such is life!Fun times at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. We bought a pass last time we were there (because it was cheaper to buy a pass than to go twice) so this time we knew what we wanted to see and spent the rest of the time in the play areas! So much fun!And, what would a vacation to California be without a trip to the beach! We lucked out with the most beautiful day ever for a beach trip! The kids (all of us, really) had so much fun playing in the sand and jumping over the waves. Seth, Derek and Angie did some body surfing. Chloe loved jumping the waves fearlessly and collecting seashells to bring home, Morgan really liked building things in the sand and watching the big kids play in the water, and playing in the water himself - as long as Mom was right there with him. Chloe made Angie and Porter join her for many MANY tea parties (basically a birthday party in the sand, with a colorful cake). Porter was a perfect little beach baby...so so cute...can't wait to set him up with Brynnie in 16 years! :) Brynn got suncreen on and then ate and slept, under the stroller shade the whole time...good thing we covered her with sunscreen so the sand could stick to her. And I had a blast playing in the waves with the kids and Seth! The beach is awesome!We planned to drive the hour and a half to see Seth's sister Bethany, and her family, on Sunday and go to church with them. Their little baby boy decided he wanted to be there to meet us and was born at 1:30 am on Sunday. We were able to spend the day with the new big sister, Amelia and then go and visit baby Rion (like Orion without the O). The hospital wouldn't allow any kids under 12 to visit unless they were siblings, and they were pretty bummed out about it, so we had to stop back by and let them hold him on our drive back home on Tuesday. When Chloe held Rion, she looked at me and said "He is sleeping, Mom" and proceeded to sing very softly to him Rock a bye baby in the tree tops, when the wind blows the cradle will rock...
A dream is a wish your heart makes,
when you're fast asleep.
All with the correct tune, of course. She is such a smart little cookie! A few hours later we had 3 kids doing this in the car...
So much fun...and we have been recovering ever since!
P.S.
Today is my Mom's birthday and even though we have wished her happy birthday a number of times today, this post is officially done on her birthday so she can count it as the cherry on top!
Love you mom/aka Grandma Becky! Hope your Birthday was all sorts of FUN! And know that no matter how many candles you acrue on your cake, Morgan and Chloe will always be happy to blow them out for you! :)
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
White Trash
Saturday was the long awaited day...the Summit County Demolition Derby. We (including the 3 kiddos) dressed up in our white trash outfits, got a bucket of KFC and headed up to Coalville, UT where we had a white trash tailgate picnic. We met up with our fellow derby-goer friends and headed up to our seats. The derby did not dissapoint...there was flying mud, serious mullets to observe, cars on fire, rodeo queens with fringe and sparkly cowboy hats riding around in pickup trucks, yummy snow cones, a horrid rendition of the national anthem, bobcat "zambones", and trucker hats being tossed into the crowds.
Sadly, we unintentionally fit the bill of "white trash family" better than anticipated. Chloe fell through the bleachers (we were about 6 rows up), Seth manuvered through the bleachers to get her, Morgan thought the crashing cars were hillarious, and Brynn cried the.whole.time. We would have enjoyed the derby, had we actually been able to watch it. Next year we are leaving the girls home...Morgan can come, but the girls are banished!
After Chloe fell through the bleachers, we decided to downsize our "load" and took the camera and such back to the car, but here are some glimpses into this year's white trash event.
When we pulled onto our street close to midnight, we were greeted by the most white trash moment of the day...a truck halfway in a trench from the road construction project. I especially enjoyed overhearing a grown man say, "Mom, I really couldn't see the hole...my headlights shine above the tops of the road barricades and there was nothing lighting the hole." If you live by me and have seen said hole...you should be laughing at this point. I'm not quite sure how you can miss a 3.5 foot deep hole the length of half a city block and surrounded by barricades and cation tape...
Sadly, we unintentionally fit the bill of "white trash family" better than anticipated. Chloe fell through the bleachers (we were about 6 rows up), Seth manuvered through the bleachers to get her, Morgan thought the crashing cars were hillarious, and Brynn cried the.whole.time. We would have enjoyed the derby, had we actually been able to watch it. Next year we are leaving the girls home...Morgan can come, but the girls are banished!
After Chloe fell through the bleachers, we decided to downsize our "load" and took the camera and such back to the car, but here are some glimpses into this year's white trash event.
When we pulled onto our street close to midnight, we were greeted by the most white trash moment of the day...a truck halfway in a trench from the road construction project. I especially enjoyed overhearing a grown man say, "Mom, I really couldn't see the hole...my headlights shine above the tops of the road barricades and there was nothing lighting the hole." If you live by me and have seen said hole...you should be laughing at this point. I'm not quite sure how you can miss a 3.5 foot deep hole the length of half a city block and surrounded by barricades and cation tape...
Laughing Out Loud
I started keeping a journal of the funny things the kids say and have come to realize that, while they say a lot of funny stuff, the stuff they do is what cracks me up the most!
Exhibit A:
Even though the dogs weren't allowed to come to the Ward Luau, the kids didn't want them to miss out on the fun of the Leis we made! (Don't worry, we are a still a one-dog household...Roxy was just over for the weekend). They wore them all day long!
Exhibit B:
I found Chloe reading books to herself on the back of the couch with the book upside down. When I pulled out the camera, Morgan decided to join in the fun.
Exhibit C:
Who needs fancy superhero costumes...Morgan is happy with pirate undies and footie jammies. The bandaids on the knee are the perfect touch for a superhero...don't you think?
Exhibit D:
Exhibit A:
Even though the dogs weren't allowed to come to the Ward Luau, the kids didn't want them to miss out on the fun of the Leis we made! (Don't worry, we are a still a one-dog household...Roxy was just over for the weekend). They wore them all day long!Exhibit B:
I found Chloe reading books to herself on the back of the couch with the book upside down. When I pulled out the camera, Morgan decided to join in the fun.Exhibit C:
Who needs fancy superhero costumes...Morgan is happy with pirate undies and footie jammies. The bandaids on the knee are the perfect touch for a superhero...don't you think?Exhibit D:
Brynn needed a bath. Chloe helped. I took Brynn out to get dressed. Chloe fell into the bath...fully clothed. She wasn't very happy about that, but naturally, my reaction was, "Stay right there, Chloe...Seth, get the camera!"
Sunday, July 26, 2009
How to Embarass Your Mom - 101
Morgan - giving the prayer (completely by himself) in primary today -
"...Please bless my mom. Help her to be nice..."
Hmmm, I guess everyone better pray for me that I can be nice,
apparently I need some divine help!
And in other news...Seth and I got a new calling today...
we are the new activities committee chairpeople!
Yay!
Is it weird to be so excited about a calling you can hardly stand it?
Who cares if it is weird, I am excited!
Seth wasn't released though...yet...so he is still the YM President and the Activities Chair...
and I asked/begged/petitioned to keep my primary class
(now that I have finally figured it out)...
so, at least for this week, it is "another calling" and not a "different calling".
Now for the fun part...what activities have you done in your ward/neighborhood that you have loved/remembered/looked forward to? Or even elements of them that you think are cool? Activities for the kids, Block Party ideas, FHE Groups, Block Party ideas, Service Activities, Block Party ideas, Christmas Party themes, Block Party ideas?
Oh and did I mention Block Party ideas...
yeah...that's in 2 1/2 weeks and we are starting from scratch! :)
YIPEE!!!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Throwing in the Towel
I recently decided that, on occasion, comfort should trump cuteness when considering what to wear and how to do my hair. You are probably wondering why I would think anything else, unless you know me well. You see, chances are pretty good that you will never see me without mascara (even in the pool or while backpacking in the mountains) and I am not one to stay in my pajamas all day unless I am seriously sick or they are doubling as work clothes for a full day of painting/using power tools/gardening. I even get dressed in the hospital the day after having a baby. Now, I am not suggesting that these things have changed, but I have modified my thinking slightly.
For example, I don't look cute in shorts...never have, never will...so I don't wear them. I own 1 pair of shorts - truly - and they are reserved for hiking...or at least they were. But, it is hot and I have to haul around 3 kids with me and play outside with them all day and clean the house and cook food, not to mention the number of clothing layers I wear, etc. etc. So, lately I have been wearing said pair of shorts more frequently. I realize that they are not cute, nor flattering to my taking-way-too-long-to-bounce-back-after-baby-number-3-body, but they are cooler than capris and more comfy than jeans.
So here's my thinking...on days when Seth is working and I have no big plans (big plans being things like playgroups, outings to somewhere other than McDonalds, and any other event where I will see people I know that are over the age of 4), what is the point of being uncomfortable for the sake of looking cute? I still put on makeup, do my hair and get dressed, but my kids don't care if my hair is in a ponytail or if Mommy's shorts don't flatter her figure. In the past I have used the reasoning that Seth appreciates his wife looking cute, but when he works at 7, he leaves before I get up and gets home when I have usually already changed into my pj's and put my hair in a ponytail. When he works at 11, we usually do yard work in the morning (in work clothes, of course) and I have been in my jammies (and possibly even asleep) for hours by the time he gets home.
But after today, I am throwing in the towel on being comfy and getting back to the "cute is way more important than comfy" thinking I used to espouse. You may be wondering why? Why am I throwing in the towel and why am I crazy enough to think I still need to look cute every day when I am a stay at home mom of 3 and have been married for 6 years?
Well, here's why: Today, while wearing my ugly shorts with a top that did not look cute with them (nothing does, but this one really didn't, I was just too lazy to pick out something else after I put it on), I ran to get some diaper genie refills and sippy cups from Target while the kids played at Grandma's house. As I am headed to the exit doors with purchases in hand, I see a guy I used to date. He looked happy and pretty much the same as he did the last time I saw him and normally I would have loved to chat and catch up, but instead all I could think about the whole time was - I can't believe I am wearing these ugly shorts today!!! Sure, I know I have been taking care of 3 kids all day, and I know that my youngest child is barely 6 months old, and I know that I am happily married to the greatest man alive and I know that I have been pureeing apricots to jam and making fruit leather all day, and I know that I look exhausted because I lost track of time hanging out with Seth by the firepit in our backyard last night and didn't realize how late it was until the sprinklers came on at 11:45 pm and we had to grab our chairs and run to keep from getting soaked, but this guy...he didn't know any of that. He just had to assume that I have gotten a lot fatter and less attractive since he last saw me. sigh. Now, I realize that this thinking is totally irrational, unfounded and probably sounds very Seriously So Blessed, but it is the way my brain works (and don't get all self-conscious if I have ever seen you answer the door in your pj's or I have seen you without mascara on...I don't have these irrational expectations for anyone else...just me...I know...I'm crazy).
So, I ask you, is it better to feel awkwardly self-conscious when you run into people you don't want to see when you don't look adorable, or irritated that the only people who saw that your hair looks totally awesome today are covered in their own dinner and want to wipe their hands on your cute outfit? I am thinking I'll pick the latter. Thus, you can consider the towel thrown!
For example, I don't look cute in shorts...never have, never will...so I don't wear them. I own 1 pair of shorts - truly - and they are reserved for hiking...or at least they were. But, it is hot and I have to haul around 3 kids with me and play outside with them all day and clean the house and cook food, not to mention the number of clothing layers I wear, etc. etc. So, lately I have been wearing said pair of shorts more frequently. I realize that they are not cute, nor flattering to my taking-way-too-long-to-bounce-back-after-baby-number-3-body, but they are cooler than capris and more comfy than jeans.
So here's my thinking...on days when Seth is working and I have no big plans (big plans being things like playgroups, outings to somewhere other than McDonalds, and any other event where I will see people I know that are over the age of 4), what is the point of being uncomfortable for the sake of looking cute? I still put on makeup, do my hair and get dressed, but my kids don't care if my hair is in a ponytail or if Mommy's shorts don't flatter her figure. In the past I have used the reasoning that Seth appreciates his wife looking cute, but when he works at 7, he leaves before I get up and gets home when I have usually already changed into my pj's and put my hair in a ponytail. When he works at 11, we usually do yard work in the morning (in work clothes, of course) and I have been in my jammies (and possibly even asleep) for hours by the time he gets home.
But after today, I am throwing in the towel on being comfy and getting back to the "cute is way more important than comfy" thinking I used to espouse. You may be wondering why? Why am I throwing in the towel and why am I crazy enough to think I still need to look cute every day when I am a stay at home mom of 3 and have been married for 6 years?
Well, here's why: Today, while wearing my ugly shorts with a top that did not look cute with them (nothing does, but this one really didn't, I was just too lazy to pick out something else after I put it on), I ran to get some diaper genie refills and sippy cups from Target while the kids played at Grandma's house. As I am headed to the exit doors with purchases in hand, I see a guy I used to date. He looked happy and pretty much the same as he did the last time I saw him and normally I would have loved to chat and catch up, but instead all I could think about the whole time was - I can't believe I am wearing these ugly shorts today!!! Sure, I know I have been taking care of 3 kids all day, and I know that my youngest child is barely 6 months old, and I know that I am happily married to the greatest man alive and I know that I have been pureeing apricots to jam and making fruit leather all day, and I know that I look exhausted because I lost track of time hanging out with Seth by the firepit in our backyard last night and didn't realize how late it was until the sprinklers came on at 11:45 pm and we had to grab our chairs and run to keep from getting soaked, but this guy...he didn't know any of that. He just had to assume that I have gotten a lot fatter and less attractive since he last saw me. sigh. Now, I realize that this thinking is totally irrational, unfounded and probably sounds very Seriously So Blessed, but it is the way my brain works (and don't get all self-conscious if I have ever seen you answer the door in your pj's or I have seen you without mascara on...I don't have these irrational expectations for anyone else...just me...I know...I'm crazy).
So, I ask you, is it better to feel awkwardly self-conscious when you run into people you don't want to see when you don't look adorable, or irritated that the only people who saw that your hair looks totally awesome today are covered in their own dinner and want to wipe their hands on your cute outfit? I am thinking I'll pick the latter. Thus, you can consider the towel thrown!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
