whirlwind of crazy - random thoughts

Since we accepted the offer from Portland things around here have been a whirlwind of crazy. That Saturday we packed everyone up and made arrangements and Sunday (after visiting our fathers) we road tripped through the night all the way to Portland to look for houses. My sweet sweet cousin and her family let us stay with them and watched the big kids while we spent 2 full days with our realtor looking at house after house after house after house. We found plenty that we liked and a few that we loved and by Thursday we had narrowed it down to one we wanted to make an offer on. We are still in the process of the negotiation and praying (and trying to have faith) that we will get an offer on our house very soon, but it is nice to have a better idea of neighborhoods and be moving in the right direction of having somewhere to live once we get out there.

The kids are so excited about the move! Before we started our drive back to Salt Lake on Friday, I told Chloe we were going home and she asked...
"to our Utah home."
"Yes, that is the only home we have."
"But I don't want to go to our Utah home, I want to go to the 'bug house'" (the bug house is what they call the house we made an offer on. We took them with us to check out our favorites and they liked the idea of finding bugs in the forested backyard) she then added, "I do miss my grandmas though."

That is about how we all feel, I think. We are sure going to miss our family and friends (maybe we could just take you all with us?), but we are excited for more bedrooms, a playroom, a pantry, amazing schools, an amazing neighborhood/community, lots of new yummy restaurants, adventure and lots of new things to experience!


....


As of yesterday, Seth is officially back to work (he has been on paternity leave since Ellie was born). Yesterday was a rough day...we had to go to costco and target for groceries/misc. items because our fridge was empty. Me + 4 kids did not make for a fun shopping experience. There was lots of yelling, counting and time outs. Movie privileges were taken away and my stress level was off the charts. Then we got home and there was more yelling and privilege losing as the kids procrastinated cleaning their rooms until I had to just do it for them so we could leave for a showing. In the midst of all that I was dealing with counter offers and loan financing stress and just feeling overwhelmed and emotional (possibly related to post-partum hormones still running through my body and the fact that I was so busy I didn't have time to eat breakfast or lunch) and wondering how I would make it through the rest of the day, much less through a huge move. I had to make chocolate chip cookies to appease my guilty mommy conscience (and satisfy my starving tummy). I have a theory that if I make cookies on days when I feel like a sub-par mommy, maybe when my kids are older, they will look back on their childhood and remember that mommy made them cookies instead of remembering that mommy yelled a lot. Fingers crossed that my theory is correct!


...


Today was a better day. We had to run to Kohls this morning and we managed to get bathed, dressed, beds made, baby fed, toys put away and out the door without any yelling. Then Morgan picked a weed flower and gave it to Chloe as he was getting in the car, everyone was well behaved at the store, Chloe gave her flower to the cashier (which completely melted the cashier), and I fielded comments about how darling and well-behaved my children were and how wonderfully I handled so many children by myself. I chuckled to myself thinking...if only you had seen us yesterday! Then we were off to meet up with my friend and her kids for a picnic lunch at the park. The weather was perfect, there was a lovely breeze, the kids were well behaved, nobody got injured and it was fun to chat and catch up. We are happily enjoying those homemade chocolate chip cookies knowing that today they aren't making up for me being a cranky mommy, they are just a yummy treat.

Tonight my baby brother is going through the temple in preparation for leaving on his mission in a few weeks. I am excited to be there with him and to enjoy the spirit of the temple. Despite the whirlwind of crazy, I am trying to appreciate the happy little moments and countless blessings also present in our lives right now.

We are moving to Oregon!

This week has been a rollercoaster. Seth received job offers from all 3 locations he interviewed with last week. The offers from Newport, OR and Portland, OR were both great offers and our top 2 locations, so we spent the week researching the areas, pondering, praying and going back and forth between the two. Finally, we were able to come to a decision and yesterday we accepted the offer from...

Portland! 

We feel so blessed to have had options and to have this opportunity to go out on this little adventure for our family. We know that we are going where we are supposed to be and that we have had divine guidance in making this decision. It is still scary to pack up our lives and leave behind everything (and more importantly everyone) we know, but we are excited to see what Portland has in store for us!

We are especially excited to find a house with plenty of room for guests to come and stay with us...so get ready to come and visit!

i love my daddy

Seth has been out of town interviewing for the past 3 days and we are ALL so excited for him to get home tonight!

I am such a lucky girl to have a husband who is so involved in everything going on at home. He is hands-on in every aspect of our home life. He puts the kids to bed and reads them stories and makes them breakfast and plays with them when he is around. He is happy to help me vacuum the stairs or mop the floor or do the dishes (well, maybe not happy, but definitely willing) when I ask. Being on my own with the kids, I miss all those little (and big) things that he does to fill in the gaps. I think he must have been worried that I was going to have a break down while he was gone, because he has been calling to check in with me multiple times a day...or maybe he just missed us. ;)

It sounds like all of the interviews went well and we will likely have offers by next week from all of the clinics. Then we will have to actually make some big decisions, but it sounds like he is excited about whatever clinic we choose. As for me, I am just happy that we get to be together...wherever we end up!

perspective

It is funny how quickly perspective can change. Things you considered little suddenly seem so big when you have a tiny little newborn around.

Brynn has been our baby girl for almost 2 and a half years, but since Ellie joined our family, she just seems so grown up. I look at her and see a silly girl with lots of personality and opinions of her own. She has adjusted to this role as "big sister" seamlessly and with so much love. Today she got to be one of the "big kids" and go see Kung Fu Panda 2 in the theater with Grandma and Grandpa and she loved it! She is constantly making us laugh with her silly sayings and her knock knock jokes (knock knock who's there? interrupting cow interrupting cow who? moooo!) and her silly faces. She wants to dress herself and undress herself and sit on the potty and give our guests hugs and kisses before they leave and buckle her own car seat. She is so upset that she doesn't get to be in swimming lessons like the big kids and lets me know every five minutes during their lessons. And while I am so proud of her for being such a big girl, I still love it when she wraps up in her softy blanket, snuggles up in my lap or sucks her thumb because no matter how big she gets, she will always be my baby girl!

momma-snuggles

While the kids went to church with Seth on Sunday, I stayed home to snuggle with my baby girl. I set the camera up and clicked my remote every so often in hopes that I would capture a picture or two of our new everyday and just how much I love this sweet little girl. And despite the fact that I much prefer to be behind the camera (even on a good day, much less a 4 days post-partum day), I was surprised to find a few images that made my mommy heart smile.

this is as close as I think I will ever get to "bottling" that newborn baby smell

thoughts from a new {again} mommy

Ellie is 5 days old today and I am feeling...

hungry all.the.time
emotional in an i-love-life-so-much-it-overflows-right-out-of-my-tear-ducts kind of way
happy to be able to snuggle kids on my lap again
a little giddy every time I bend over and can still breathe
full of milk...ouch. How do I forget that this will happen every time I have a baby?
so happy to be able to sleep on my stomach again
smitten every time I see that cute little newborn face
the urge to squish baby cheeks all day long
still hungry...are there any more ice cream sandwiches in the freezer?
like I should avoid wearing lipstick for the next 6 months unless I want to keep wiping it off of Ellie's fuzzy little forehead
so thankful for my grown-up little boy...and my mostly grown-up girl...and my silly little girl
worried about surviving when Seth leaves for three days of out-of-state interviews this week
lots and lots of love
not so happy about the still-huge state of my post baby body

so in love with my husband
energized...and yet surprisingly content to sit back and do nothing but feel the expansion and collapse of a little chest on mine
hungry, hungry, hungry...and thirsty
skinny enough that maybe my "post-baby" wardrobe will fit and I can put away the maternity clothes...nope, sure can't...that was depressing

happy that Ellie brought the spring sunshine with her from heaven :)
motivated to capture the little pieces that make up our life right now...teeny diapers...itty bitty fingers...kisses from big sisters...endless requests to "hold baby sissy"...swimming lessons...piles of books on the coffee table...wet swimming suits on the bathroom floor
completely unmotivated to turn on the computer
content that the beauty of family outweighs all that is not good in this world

but mostly, I feel as if our family is just a little more complete. I wondered before she was born, how she would fit in with this little family of ours. Everything was so perfect it seemed...3 buddies...3 unique personalities...lots of independence...lots of helping each other...lots of fun and laughter and silliness...and lots of love. But again, a sweet new little life has filled voids I didn't know existed and multiplied love exponentially. What a beautiful blessing she is!

And right this very second, despite the emotional tears in my eyes from writing the thoughts of my mommy heart, my body and my baby are both letting me know that it is time for a feeding. I think I better grab a string cheese first...

a little Ellie photo-love

Besides the everyday paparazzi happening around here, I haven't done an actual photo shoot yet for little Ellie, but I couldn't resist sharing a few quick photos of her sweetness...

You are welcome Uncle Michael and Sarah! :)

Welcome to the World Ellie

 

Ellie Tate

Born June 1, 2011

4:35 pm 

8 lbs. 15 oz.

20.5 inches long

Each little life that joins our family brings something so sweet and so unique. Each one teaches me new lessons about love and challenges me in new ways. Each time I wonder if I can possibly love another little one as much as I love the ones that are already part of my family, and each time the answer is an overwhelming yes.

As I look at you, sweet Ellie, I see so much of Chloe, a little bit of Morgan and the tiniest bit of Brynn, but I know you will be uniquely you to your very core! I am excited to experience this life with you! To see you grow, to watch your personality emerge and to shower you with love and kisses. What a treat it is as a mother to look on as your Daddy looks at you with those adoring eyes. You have captured his heart already. And as your brother wants to hold you and never ever ever let you go...he is a good brother and you are so lucky to have him. Your sisters love you so much too....they brought you a special blankie and rattle today and they wrapped it around you so snugly and sweetly that it melted my heart! They are going to be your very best friends and you will be so glad you have them! 

Last night, you had a flood of visitors coming to see you! Grandma Becky, Grandma Colleen, Grandpa John, Uncle Stephen, Morgan, Chloe, Brynn, Grandma Denese, Grandpa Tate, Aunt Smelly, Uncle Stinky, Grandpa Mark, Grandma Char, Aunt Allison, Uncle Mike, and Uncle Jonathan. And every few seconds my phone would buzz with messages of love and congratulations from family and friends who were so glad you had arrived. What a fan club you have already!

Welcome to this world Ellie! You have a beautiful life ahead of you, a family who loves you to pieces and a Heavenly Father who loves you enough to send you here to us!

xoxoxo
Mommy