apartment living is NOT for us

Well, it is about time for an update on here, wouldn't you say?

We loaded the truck.
It took weeks of packing a few boxes a day and days of packing boxes nonstop, but in a few short hours on a Saturday morning, all of our belongings were loaded into 14 feet of a moving truck. We so appreciated family and friends who lent their muscles, kid watching skills, packing strategy and time to help us get everything packed! We used ABF U-Pack and I was so happy with our experience: they dropped off the truck, we loaded it, they drove it and dropped it off at our new apartment, we unloaded it and they picked it back up. It was not much more than it would have cost us to rent a truck that we would have had to drive and less than half of what a full service move would have cost. I think we will use them again for future long distance moves. It was weird and a little unsettling to see our house so empty. Memories of bringing home babies and puppies, home improvement projects, gardening, parties, holidays, tea parties and family home evenings, movie nights, first days of school, graduation days, heartache, trials and so many blessings just flooded over us as we sat in the only real "home" our family has ever known and the reality of leaving it behind sunk in. I had no idea just how hard it would be to say goodbye to our little house!

We stayed at Grandma's.
After our truck left, we stayed at my Mom's house for a few days before we actually made the drive ourselves. Luckily those days and nights were so filled with activities, that I didn't really have time to think about the reality of what was happening. Last chance playdates and dinners and visits followed by tucking kids in bed and leaving them with Grandma while we went back to the house to finish packing the stuff that would be going with us in our cars, organize the remaining garage sale items, touch up paint and do some deep cleaning. Again, I was clueless about how much work would be involved in getting all the "last minute" stuff done. During that time of cleaning, we also realized that our house had quite a bit more square footage than we had thought. We were thrilled to be able to adjust it on our listing, but frustrated that we hadn't realized it sooner. Seth left on Thursday morning and again a flood of tender emotions swept over me as we said our last family prayer in our own home. I am still overwhelmed as I look back on all the blessings we received during our time in that house. At times I was frustrated with where we were...such a little space and the quirks of living in an older house...but looking back, I can see how it was all for our good. We were especially blessed to know the people we met there and I can't imagine my life without our "Springview" friends. I am not sure I will ever forget the feeling of backing out of my driveway for the very last time...

We drove.
Friday morning at 6:30, my mom and I loaded the kids into the car and started a very long day of driving. I am a terrible long distance driver, but I am trying to get better at it since I will be logging many miles between Utah and Oregon in the next few years, so I tried to drive most of the way to see how I would do. The kids did great...they watched movies, read books and colored and hardly complained at all. We stopped often to feed Ellie, take potty breaks and stretch our legs (about every 2 hours) so we didn't pull in to our apartment building until after dark (by that point I had completely lost track of what time it was). With exhaustion and anticipation, we stepped inside this temporary home we had leased sight-unseen and I just wanted to burst into tears. The pictures did not accurately represent the apartment, it smelled funny, there was no air conditioning and 1100 square feet was smaller than I had imagined. I felt so out of place. This certainly didn't feel like home. My mom and Seth reassured me that it would all be ok and that it was only temporary. Seth had gotten our mattresses out of the truck, so despite our disappointment, we decided to just get some rest (and look for a new place to live in the morning - ha ha).

We woke up, but it was still a nightmare.
We had been trying to reach our new elders quorum to get some help unloading our truck for about 2 weeks before the move, but got no response from them. So Saturday morning I called professional movers to see if we could get unloading help, but nobody could be there same day. I had a move in shopping list prepared, so since we didn't have unloading help, we decided to head out and get that taken care of first. The first happy moment since arriving in Oregon was when I realized that Target and Costco were right next to each other and only 5 minutes from the apartment. :) We brought home our food and packed it in the fridge only to find that the fridge wasn't working. Great. So we filled a cooler with ice and put our milk and cheese and lunchmeat and a few drinks in there to keep cold until maintenance finally came on Monday. We discovered water damage above the water heater and also let maintenance know about that, but they did not respond until water started dripping through our ceiling on Monday morning. Turns out they had to replace the water heater/floor in the apartment above us and told us it needed to dry before they could replace our ceiling...it is still not done.

We went to church.
We went to church at 9 am...but it was the wrong ward. We were semi-happy that it was the wrong ward, though, because not a single person said a word to us. Morgan was almost in tears during sacrament meeting because he felt so worried and nervous about going to class on his own and meeting new people. "I want to go back to our apartment," he kept saying. It broke my heart and brought me to tears to see him so anxious and unsettled. We all felt very out of place and left after sacrament meeting. We went to our actual ward for classes. Our actual ward was so nice and felt much more like home. The kids were excited to have lots of people in their primary classes and Brynn won the nursery leaders over in approximately 15 seconds! Morgan got gum in his class and felt much better about life. Between church #1 and church #2 the elders quorum got back to us about helping us move in and scheduled to come the next day.

Seth started his job, hated his commute and we unpacked.
We had lots of guys from the elders quorum show up Monday night to unload the truck and spent the whole day Tuesday unpacking. With my mom's help, we were pretty close to unpacked (strategically unpacking only the necessary items and saving all the good boxes for the next move) by Wednesday morning.

We got the stomach flu.
In honor of being almost unpacked, grandma leaving for home that night, and knowing nobody, Chloe and Brynn got the stomach flu Wednesday morning.

I did laundry.

We took Grandma Becky to the airport Wednesday night (my thoughts on that in the previous post) and then we were all alone.
I cried, I was impatient with the kids, I did more laundry, I comforted little girls who were throwing up. A few interested buyers came back through our house, but none made an offer. I missed my friends, I missed my family, I felt sorry for myself, I wondered why me. I wanted to move home, I wondered what in the world we were thinking moving here, and my faith in our decision wavered. I wondered if we had made the wrong choice and misinterpreted the promptings of the spirit. Life felt hopeless. I am an optimist, so these thoughts were foreign to me. While I have encountered trials, I have always been able to see the silver lining or have hope that things would get better. But this was supposed to be the silver lining time. This was supposed to be the light at the end of the tunnel. And here I was wishing for those hard years back. I have never felt quite so hopeless before. And even surrounded by my sweet little children and husband, I felt very alone.

Something changed.
Saturday morning, the sun was shining when I woke up, but I woke up crying, missing the big beautiful windows in my master bedroom that would have filled my room with sunshine on a morning like this. But at some point something changed. I decided that this wasn't who I was or how I wanted to take on this trial. And somewhere in there, I had the thought that we should just plan on the worst case scenario and go from there. So we started to look for a better rental that we could afford if we didn't sell our house. And when we couldn't find something that we could make work for at least a year, we started to explore other options. We decided to rent our house to Seth's brother, and find a long-term rental. I scoured craigslist, emailed, called and viewed dozens of properties. We found one that we thought would work and applied only to find out that someone else had applied just before us. Again things weren't looking good, but it didn't seem hopeless.

We got an offer on our house.
Late Friday night as I was scouring craigslist for the umpteenth time looking for any rentals that I might have missed and calling on ones I had skipped over on first sight because they didn't look very cute, we got word that we had received an offer on our home! We had to counter, but are now under contract and hoping that everything will go smoothly. The next morning, we went through a house that I had originally skipped over because it didn't look very cute on the inside and I remember feeling like this was the house the minute I walked in the door, even though the inside was outdated and needed a bit of work. We went through one other home that morning that was absolutely gorgeous inside, but even though it was like a dream home for me, I felt so strongly that the other home was "the one", so we called and told them we would move in September 9.

We are moving...again.
This time feels less terrible, though. Morgan will start school at the new school (they start after Labor day here). We have movers lined up to do the whole move. We have the new house planned out for furniture placement already. We will attend the new ward this Sunday. It will cut Seth's commute in half and he may even be able to ride his bike some days. The neighborhood is darling and filled with young kids. The yard is fenced and the house is big enough for us to live comfortably. But most importantly, we have plenty of space to host any of you when you vacation to the pacific northwest (and I mean that very seriously)!

Illustration

 I uploaded my cards and couldn't resist sharing a quick illustration of our every day...
packing packing packing! (I love that there is a random shoe in the picture...I swear I spend the entirety of my days picking up shoes and putting them away thanks to Brynn constantly changing shoes...only occasionally are they hers, Callie carrying shoes around the house when she gets excited, and the rest of my family's inability to put shoes in their cubbies.)

P.S. Because everyone that comes to our house asks, that fabulous doodle of our family in the background is by my uber-talented sister in law. It makes me happy when I look at it. You can get one of your own family in her etsy shop.

life is happening

I am slacking on the blogging end of things because life is too busy happening! I haven't uploaded pics from my CF cards in weeks (though I better get crackin' because I am down to my last empty card and I have sessions coming up!), so this is an un-illustrated post of all the stuff going on around here...

- We have somewhere to live when we pack all of our belongings into a truck and drive to Portland in less than 3 weeks. It is a teeny tiny 3 bedroom apartment (for the 6 of us + dog), but at least it is a place to call home for a few months until our house here sells.

- Seth is officially licensed in both Utah and Oregon...what a (expensive) process licensure is!

- Our garage is filled with boxes! Because Seth will work right up until the move, I am trying to go slow and steady with the packing. I pack about 5 boxes a day. It is amazing how many boxes are packed already and how much stuff we have in this tiny house of ours.

- Speaking of houses...if you know anyone who wants a cute little house with a great garage and a cozy yard in a very convenient location with amazing neighbors and an incredible ward, please send them our way! ;) This is our only loose end and some days it causes me significant stress, but for the most part I feel like it is just going to work out. I don't know how, but I know that we are doing what we should be doing and that Heavenly Father has a plan for our little family and it will all work itself out.

- I am already living out of a suitcase. We have sold/are selling a lot of our stuff before the move and one of those items is an armoire which I was using as a dresser. I am excited to have a dresser again soon!

- I break into tears pretty frequently as I drive past all the places that hold so many sweet memories for me. I am already sad in anticipation of missing meeting my mom for lunch in the middle of the week, going for walks with the Family at Sugarhouse park, meeting up with our playgroup friends in the ward parking lot to let the kids ride bikes, chatting with all of the older ladies in my ward that I have grown to love so dearly, Sunday dinners with the Fam, Pioneer Day celebrations, taking the kids to the playground at the school, driving to see the fall leaves in the canyon, the Children's Museum, cousins playgroup, girls night out with my wonderful neighborhood friends, hearing the kids yell "Hi Dad" every time we pass his work (which is quite often during the day since it is so close...I'll miss that too), and the list could go on forever! I have a feeling it is just going to get worse so don't be surprised if you are talking to me and I get a little misty-eyed mid-conversation!

- My baby brother has almost completed his time at the Preston, England MTC. He goes out to his first area in Birmingham a week from today! We miss him so much (especially on Sundays!) but he is happy and learning so much and we are so proud of him! (I have lots of pictures to share from before he left and I WILL get around to posting them!)

- Ellie has reflux...just like all of her siblings. She does so much better on Prevacid, but she is still the fussiest of our babies. I often wonder if it is my mental state that makes me think that or if she is actually just a little fuss-pants, but I think it is the latter. Regardless we love showering her with kisses and snuggles and squeezing her abundant rolls. I don't know how Brynn escaped the Michelin-Man baby syndrome, but she was lucky. Ellie is taking after Chloe and Morgan in that regard and I am fairly certain she will be in 6 mo. clothes any day now. Her 2 month appointment is coming up next week and I am very interested to see where she tips the scale.

-Ellie loves to smile and scoot. She scoots herself across her crib (she sleeps on her tummy because she is so uncomfortable on her back) and smiles a lot for Grandma Becky, Morgan, Daddy and Mom. She would probably smile at the girls too if they weren't always smothering her with kisses.

- Despite her crankiness during the day, Ellie has become a great sleeper. She has been sleeping about 7 hours straight at night and then goes right back to sleep for another 2. If I would go to bed when she does instead of cleaning the house and packing boxes after she goes to bed, I would probably be a well-rested mama.

- We got some summer workbooks for the kids and try to get them out a few times a week (I know you are supposed to have them work on them every day, but I think it is a miracle they are coming out at all). The kids love them! Morgan is such a little smarty pants that he whips through pages and pages on his own while I work with Chloe. He loves to read books to himself and to the girls when I am busy with Ellie. Chloe's preschool teachers last year told me that she was average for what they should know after 3 year old preschool (other than her vocabulary and speech which were very advanced). Unfortunately, average at that level is only knowing 5-7 letters of the alphabet and counting to 10-ish. I was not impressed with her preschool experience at all but also realize that Chloe is different from Morgan and that I shouldn't compare where he was at that point to where she was. But, after working with her on the workbook one time, I was even more annoyed about the complete horror that was her first year of preschool. Her teachers were either completely clueless (which I think is likely true) or didn't really spend any time with Chloe (which I also think is true), because the girl knows the whole alphabet and is starting to sound out words! They also told me she couldn't write her name but not to worry because it isn't something that they should know in 3 year old preschool...wrong again. She can spell and write her name perfectly. Anyway...without boring you with the details, the basic gist is that I am annoyed about the awfulness of her preschool experience thus far and sad that Miss Fidge can't come teach her in Portland, but so so proud of her for learning so much in spite of it.

- Laughed my head off the other day when Chloe came in after I finally got Ellie to sleep after a crying fit and said, "Mom, I think Ellie was feeling the spirit and that is why she was crying." Ha ha ha...I love that girl!

- Smiled a great big mama smile the other day when Brynn and Chloe were sitting next to each other on the couch talking and looking at a book and Brynn leaned over, wrapped her arms around Chloe, snuggled her head on Chloe's shoulder and said, "I love you Chloe!" and then smiled even bigger when Chloe smiled and said, "I love you too." If only they could remember that when they are stealing each other's toys and pulling each other's hair. ;)

- Using a lot of applesauce and bottled peaches. If you have any amazing recipes, please share!

- Our dear friends Ben and Aania threw a going away party for us last weekend. I cannot thank them enough for the sweet send off! It was such a lovely night to let everything else go and just spend time with people we love. The kids played so hard and enjoyed themselves so much and we got to catch up with so many dear friends and family. Thank you to those who were there and thank you thank you thank you to Ben and Aania for such a special night!

Yes, life is happening. It is crazy and it is lovely and it is sweet. In the rush to pack and cancel our internet and switch our bank accounts and get renters insurance and schedule a moving van, I am trying to enjoy these last moments in this home, neighborhood and city with friends and family. I am reminded every day how wonderful this life is and how blessed we are to live it!

exhausted

this pretty much sums up how everyone around here is feeling...

 

p.s. baby spit bubbles are adorable!

eat. poop. sleep.

newborn babies spend their days eating, pooping and sleeping 

(sometimes even all three simultaneously)

nursing mommies of newborns spend most of their day nursing, changing diapers and cleaning the house/doing laundry/making sure the older kids don't smother the baby while they are giving her kisses

(nope...definitely not sleeping if that's what you thought I was going to say)

older sisters of newborn babies spend their days mauling loving the baby, being naughty to get mom's attention and playing mommy...

"What are you doing Chloe?"

"I am feeding my baby mom."

Well, at least she is discreet about it, right?

momma-snuggles

While the kids went to church with Seth on Sunday, I stayed home to snuggle with my baby girl. I set the camera up and clicked my remote every so often in hopes that I would capture a picture or two of our new everyday and just how much I love this sweet little girl. And despite the fact that I much prefer to be behind the camera (even on a good day, much less a 4 days post-partum day), I was surprised to find a few images that made my mommy heart smile.

this is as close as I think I will ever get to "bottling" that newborn baby smell

and they all lived happily ever after

This week marked graduation and the first week back to Seth's normal work schedule (3 - 12 hour shifts and 4 days off - heaven). He worked Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and we had him home Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

In essence, I have had a perma-grin on my face since Thursday and a whole lot of mental reality checks wondering if I am dreaming. So many pieces of the puzzle are still working themselves out: house still for sale, interviews still happening, waiting for the word about whether I get to join Seth at his conference, etc. BUT the only thing that really matters to us right now is time. Much needed time together as a family. Time to play and work and dream together. We have been filling our days with fun and adventure...just like it should be! In four short days, we have had picnic lunches, fed the ducks, played on the slip n' slide, planted our veggie garden, weeded the flower beds, ridden bikes and roasted hot dogs on the fire pit. We have been grilling corn on the cob and watching movies, piling into our bed in the morning for snuggles, tickles, and soaking in the happiness of spending time together. We have colored with sidewalk chalk and blown bubbles and given lots of hugs and kisses.

Even though we haven't even gotten to the part about enjoying the fruits of the labor of the past few years, we are enjoying the sweeter fruits of appreciating each other more than we ever could have before. To me, happily ever after isn't a state of perfection, it is a state of love and I am so happy to be enjoying our happily ever after!

I hope that you are enjoying the sweetness of your own Happily Ever After on this beautiful Mother's Day!

sissies

With all the fighting, feistiness, drama and meltdowns these little ladies stir up around here, 

moments like this make it all worth it!

What a month

March is almost over and what a month it has been! When I posted the adorable picture of my little girlies, Brynn had just gotten over the stomach flu. Luckily, the worst of it was during the 2 days that Seth was home because he was in between clinical-rotations. But the day after our photo shoot, she got a cough. The next day the cough turned a little wheezy and it was keeping her up at night and during her naps. The next day was a Saturday. She woke up with a slight fever, so Seth gave her motrin before heading off to work. She perked up and seemed to be doing better and Morgan had a busy day of birthday parties, so I loaded everyone in the car and we ran errands in between all the picking up and dropping off at birthday parties.

By the time we picked Morgan up from the last party, Brynn was burning up, coughing like crazy and didn't want to do anything but have me hold her little body close to mine. I called Seth at work and we decided it would be best to take her into an Urgent Care. The Urgent Care doctor suggested I take her up to the Primary Children's Hospital ER immediately where they would most likely admit her and keep her overnight because it was very likely that she had RSV.

None of my kids have ever had to go to the ER and the stress of the day, combined with my pregnant hormones, and feeling completely overwhelmed at the thought of doing it all alone, I completely broke down and burst into tears. My sweet mother-in-law was happy to take the older kids and endure my breakdown on the phone, so I dropped Morgan and Chloe off there and headed up to the hospital with little miss Brynn. Seth called when I was almost to the parking lot to let me know he was able to get off of his shift early and that he was heading up to the hospital. I could not have been more thankful for my sweet husband at that moment, who knew that I really needed his support even though I hadn't told him or subjected him to my sobbing breakdown. There was no wait in the ER, so they took us right back and checked her. She was such a trooper. She did everything they asked her to do and smiled and told everyone thank you and waved goodbye any time someone left the room. After Seth got there, they did an RSV swab and she completely freaked out. Unfortunately, that was followed by an albuterol treatment and it took me, Seth and the respiratory therapist to keep the mask on her. She is definitely a determined little thing. It completely wore her out, though and she fell asleep on Seth after she calmed down.

They took a chest x-ray and found that she possibly had pneumonia as well, and her RSV swab came back positive. She was happily drinking the gatorade juice box they gave her, her fever had normalized and she was so cheerful that they decided to start her on a 2 day sterroid treatment and send us home with albuterol treatments. On the way home from the hospital she was loopy from the sterroid...she pointed to every random thing she saw and said, "Look Mom, a _______" (window, rain drop, house, car, etc. etc.). It was kind of hilarious, because I have never seen her like that before.

She slept well Saturday night and Sunday morning she woke up with energy, a low fever which was easily managed with Motrin, and drinking and eating whatever we gave her. But, within 2 hours of giving her the morning albuterol treatment, she was struggling to breathe so much that you could see her little rib cage every time she took a breath and seeming like she needed another treatment. I called the hospital to see if I could just give the treatments closer together, and they told me that I needed to wait the full 4 hours and if she was consistently needing them more frequently to bring her back to the ER. Throughout the day, she continued to get worse. We had my little brothers over for dinner, and Brynn took a short nap after we went for a walk to the playground, but woke up pale and clammy and struggling so hard to breathe that she was exhausted. After giving her the 2nd sterroid dose for the day and seeing no improvement, we decided it would be best to take her back in.

This time I took her blankie and sippy cup, just in case we ended up staying so she had some comfort objects in the waiting room because they were much busier that night. After we got her into a room, the Dr. told me right away that I should plan on staying for the night because the home treatment was just not enough for her. They gave her a triple dose albuterol treatment which she fought and fought (it was more than 20 minutes long, so both she and I were exhausted by the end), and took some blood tests and started her on an IV to get her hydrated.

She was such a good sport...she didn't try to pull at her IV and she left her vitals monitor on and she didn't even fuss when they took her blood pressure. Once I knew we were going to be admitted, Seth's brother came to hang out at our house and Seth came up to the hospital with sweats for me and some books and treats for Brynn. They finally admitted us to the Rapid Care Unit and once we were settled Seth headed home to sleep so he could get the kids off to school in the morning. I "slept" with Brynn in her hospital bed  for 2 hours at a time (hello - I am not ready for a newborn!) in between giving her albuterol treatments, forcing (literally...she tried to spit it out every time) medicine down her throat and feeling extremely uncomfortable in my big and pregnant state. They had to do the albuterol treatments about every 2 hours and ended up placing her on oxygen because she kept dipping so low when she was sleeping.

The next morning she was feeling cheery and energetic again, but still had to be on the oxygen. The doctor said we could reevaluate that night and see how she was doing, but that we would most likely be spending another night in the hospital. We colored and read books and watched movies and ordered "room service".

She was not allowed to leave her room because she was considered high risk, but she was so good about staying in the bed and keeping occupied with stationary activities. After Seth picked the kids up from school, he brought them to visit and have a picnic lunch and to trade shifts. She was so excited to see her siblings! They had to bring us an extender for her oxygen because she just wanted to run around her room and dance and play with them! Morgan and Chloe thought the hospital looked like fun...toy areas (which Brynn couldn't go to), a moving bed, movies, room service smoothies...I had to bring them back to reality by talking about shots and medicine and being stuck in your room, but they still would like their turn to be in the hospital. I, however, would prefer their turns never come. :) They masked Brynn and took her for another chest x-ray to see if there had been any change with the possible pneumonia.

By the time she got back, the big kids were stir crazy, so I shuffled them out of there and took them home.

After dinner, my brother came to put the kids to bed so I could go back up to the hospital and take overnight stuff for Seth. Because Brynn's x-ray came back showing improvement, they called our pediatrician and decided to give us the option of taking her home on oxygen. Since Seth had already missed a day of clinicals and we felt comfortable with the oxygen and the big kids were really needing to regain some stability of having their parents home, we decided to do it. We didn't get home until about 11:30 pm, but it was so nice to sleep in our own bed and Brynn slept like a rock! In the morning we took her to see our pediatrician for a follow-up and she was doing great!

We were able to take her off the oxygen during the day and only have her use it at night and during naps. Within a few days, we were able to eliminate the oxygen altogether. She is doing perfectly now and we are so happy to have our happy, healthy little lady back!

In the midst of it all, we had to start packing our stuff into storage because our new carpet was installed the week Brynn came home from the hospital and my baby brother got his mission call (details about his call and a photo here), and we had all of our family over for Chloe's Birthday (a little early so Michael and Sarah could come while they were in town...I took very few pictures, but she felt so loved and adored so thank you to all of our family who spoiled her to pieces with love and presents). So, it has been truly crazy at our house! But, we have been so blessed with many many willing hands to watch our kids, move furniture between rooms, disassemble furniture, provide us with moving boxes, pick up the kids from school, dinners and offers to bring dinner and many notes and calls of concern and prayers in our behalf. I am certain that we have the most wonderful family and friends and ward you could ask for. Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you!!!

Most of all, it was a sweet experience to spend uninterrupted one-on-one time with Brynn. As the third child with a Daddy working and in school and a pregnant Mommy juggling 24/7 motherhood and dabbling in a photography business, it isn't often that I can spend hours snuggling Brynn with no interruptions. I loved snuggling her close to me all night and giggling with her and reading books with her and listening to her tell me all about things. I loved seeing her be polite and obedient and adorable with the hospital staff. I loved discovering how much she LOVES stickers and convincing her that the medicine wasn't so bad if we turned the process into a tea party (the nurses laughed when we had our medicine tea party complete with pinkies up and English accents, but it worked). I was surprised to discover just how OCD Brynn is. I knew she sucked her thumb and liked to snuggle a soft blankie against her face, but I had no idea that she had to bite the blankie first and that there was a very proper order to the timing of the blankie bite, thumb suck, and face rub. I also didn't realize that she would repeat the process until it was done to her liking. She is one who knows what she wants and oh.how.she.wants.to.do.it.herself. Spending that one on one time with her really clued me in to how I can better match my parenting to her personality. Maybe the other kids do need their turn in the hospital...or maybe just some one-on-one mommy dates. :) I think that even the most elaborate mommy dates would be much cheaper than our portion of the hospital stay.

pandora's box

Today, I picked Morgan up from school and as we were leaving the parking lot, my phone rang. I missed the call, but when I saw that it was Seth, I called right back...until I realized that I was Seth at our home number. Um, last time I checked, nobody was at home. Turns out it was Morgan calling me from the backseat from the home (cell) phone which he had taken with him to school. A few things followed...

1. I laughed...really hard.

2. I tried to compose myself...unsuccessfully...and laughed some more.

3. Finally got a grip and told Morgan that he is NEVER ever EVER allowed to take the home phone to school. The reason it is called a home phone is because it is supposed to stay at home. Clever, right?

4. Asked him if the phone rang while he was at school...thankfully it didn't, but he 

told me that his teacher said that the rule about phones is they can't go out to recess.

5. Realized that this meant his teacher had seen the phone...and then turned beet red thinking that 

now she thinks I am the kind of parent that gives my child a cell phone in Kindergarten.

6. Started composing the email in  my head that I would have to send to her explaining (and apologizing).

7. Call Seth and tell him how hilarious our children are.

Hope you had a good laugh...I need to go type the email to his teacher...

random thoughts at 23 weeks

Monday will mark 23 weeks in my pregnancy...more than halfway!

I am not sure what is so different this time around, but the whole thing just doesn't seem real to me.

Yes...I feel giant and have to wear maternity clothes. 

Yes...It is super uncomfortable to sleep and I wake up at least 10 times a night to reposition.

Yes...the sight/feel/smell of raw meat makes me gag.

Yes...I have crazy bad heartburn every.single.night (could this be a sign of a baby girl with hair? hoping!)

And yes...my sciatic nerve is pinched and forces me to stand up while still bent over and then straighten incrementally from there (Seth laughs at me...I am sure I look like a 95 year old trying to stand up)

But...otherwise, I feel really great! I have energy and I feel productive most days.

I can eat just about anything (except meat that I touched when raw and Dr. Pepper).

I don't need to take naps every afternoon just to make it through the day.

I no longer feel inclined to go to bed at 8:30 pm (most nights anyway).

We have no idea what to name this baby girl...and that DOESN'T stress me out.

I am not tempted to buy adorable outfits for her when we are out and about.

I am not feeling stressed that we have no idea where we will be living when this baby gets here.

I don't worry that we are supposed to be listing our house in less than 2 months (although I probably should).

I am not overwhelmed at the idea of hauling 4 kids to Dr. appointments and soccer games and swimming lessons and dance classes (ok...maybe a little overwhelmed, but it isn't keeping me up at night).

Usually when I am pregnant this is not the case.

I have come to the conclusion that all of this is a tender mercy from my Heavenly Father. 

A reminder that my little family is being watched over and cared for and that whether I worry or not, 

it will all work out...and more importantly, that His plan is better than mine anyway! 

A reminder that this road we are on right now, though it is difficult, is the one that we should be on.

A reminder that the long days and the sacrifices are all worth it. 

A reminder that I don't need to know all the answers or understand the whole plan to continue on in faith.
A reminder that I am known to Him...and He wants me to be happy.

Today has been a hard day: kids fighting, Seth gone to work for what seems like the 20th day in a row with no end in sight, messes in every room of the house, feeling lonely and depleted and impatient, and wishing there were something I could do to get everyone out of the house, but not having the energy for an outing alone on a Saturday...and then, the sun (literally) came out from behind the clouds, my house went from gray and bleak to sunny and happy and I could walk outside without a jacket and not freeze...and I knew that it was all going to be ok. I took a deep breath, made some lunch, and we all went outside and rode bikes and enjoyed the fresh air for 30 minutes before the clouds came back and we started to shiver,
and it was just what we needed. 

I am so glad for reminders like these that give me the strength to carry on.

And now...if you made it through my ramblings...some randomness in the form of pictures.

self-portrait of my 23 week belly (taken yesterday)
I am about the same weight as my pre-pregnancy weight before Chloe. Weird.

Another self-portrait of my belly...from a different perspective...taken today


and the more exciting stuff...
kids playing in the fleeting February sunshine this afternoon












Footnotes:

1. Morgan and Chloe got the matching monkey rainboots for Christmas...
Brynn's size was not available...
they are obsessed and wear them almost every day!

2. Chloe's blue striped jacket is from Old Navy's clearance rack yesterday...
time will tell if she is obsessed, but I can definitely tell you that I am!

3. You may have noticed that most of us are sporting some shades of pink or red...
the Valentine's day countdown has begun!

4. While I completely ADORE my new zoom lens, I am officially getting lazy when I shoot.
I am used to running toward/away from the subject to get the shot I want, but twisting the zoom is so.much.easier! Sadly, there goes my plan to lose the baby weight! lol!

5. I have determined that sunshine makes people happy...look at those great big smiles on their faces!

6. Yes...that is my car INSIDE of our garage. Both Seth and I park in the garage! I never thought the day would come that we would have a garage we park in, but I am so glad it has! You may also notice the completely open driveway...we said goodbye to Seth's mercedes a few weeks ago.
A little sad, but a lot of happy (and a lot more room to play on days like today)!

telephone

Morgan has known our phone number (and by that I mean my cell phone number) for a long time now, 

but yesterday I decided it was time to actually teach him how to dial  the number and what to say 

when someone answers and all that fun little phone etiquette stuff. He is going to a birthday party 

for someone in his class whose parents I don't know well tonight, so the timing seemed appropriate. 

He is super excited, but I might send him with our home cell phone. Worry much?

(Speaking of which, what age do you all think is acceptable for sleepover birthday parties? I am a paranoid mom and I am not ready to let my 5 year old sleepover anywhere but grandma's house...am I crazy?)

So, I had him dial my phone number and hit the send key...and then he giggled like a crazy 

man when he heard my phone ring from across the room and I answered it. 

We practiced it a few more times...and every time he giggled like crazy. It was so fun! 

Then he called Grandma Becky and left a message....

"Hi Grandma, it's Morgan. I am learning how to call people on the phone. Okay, bye!"

And then he dialed Uncle Michael and chatted for a while. And then I made him give 

me the phone to make sure Uncle Michael knew that he was indeed being supervised.

And then he went in the living room and dialed my number again. 

"Hello?"

"Hi Mom, it's me, Morgan. Will you please give the phone to Chloe?"

"Sure!" I said as I handed the phone to Chloe.

"Hi," Chloe said, "This is Chloe...we are eating our dinner right now. My mommy made us tacos. I don't know what Dad is going to eat though. We are trying to figure that out." And then she moved the phone away from her ear and said to me, "Mom, who is this girl that I am talking to on the phone?"

Apparently our next life skill should be monitoring the information we share with strangers. 

This morning my phone rang. Who is calling me at 7:45 am while I am 

trying to get kids ready and out the door to school, I thought. 

Oh, right, it is Morgan...practicing. Thank goodness for free mobile to mobile calling!

clementines

Yesterday my girls wanted to eat clementine oranges, so they sat at the table together, each with an orange in front of them. Brynn ripped right into her clementine, peeled the entire thing herself, and started to eat it. Chloe asked me to peel hers for her. I told her that she could do it (because she can and has many many many times before). Then I headed in the other room, and this is what I overheard...

C: "Brynn, could you peel my clementine for me?"

B: "Yeah."

C: "Thanks! You can have a tax."

(Seth and I take an orange tax when the kids have us peel their orange for them...one segment from each half. It started out as a way to encourage their independence and now they think it is super cool to pay taxes! lol!)

So my just-barely-2-year-old peeled the clementine for my almost-4-year-old.

And then the two of them proceeded to eat 3 lbs. of clementines in one sitting while I paid bills...

Thank heavens for costco!

approved...and now it begins

Seth's capstone project was approved! Yay! It has been a lot of hard work already, so I am not sure I am ready for what the actual doing of the project will bring, but I am so proud of him! We also found out his clinical assignment for next semester...and while he is excited for it (which makes me excited for it), it means 5 to 6 12-hour work shifts every week...plus the capstone project...plus listing/showing/selling our house and *hopefully* moving...plus a pregnant wife who will undoubtedly be cranky from showing said house...plus 3 little people who expect a little love and attention from their daddy on a regular basis... and sleep...well, who really needs sleep?

So, as soon as this semester ends (which isn't until next Friday...that's right...a week from tomorrow...does that seem really late to anyone else?), we are going to savor as much time as we can with him! We are going to snuggle up in our jammies and watch movies, go sledding, build snowmen, eat delicious goodies, go on dates (anyone want to babysit?) and give lots of hugs and kisses. We are going to see Santa and have family dinners, and go to Christmas parties, and sing songs, and read books. You probably won't find us mopping the floors or folding the laundry or scrubbing the bathtub or cleaning out the garage...so don't expect a clean house should you decide to pop in and say hello (which you are always welcome to do, but honestly, you should really never expect our house to be clean)! We also have a to finish up a few house projects mixed in there, but we are going to do them together and make them quick, because we need to stock up on daddy time!

Also...a complete and total sidenote from my professional-photographer-self...because of this utter chaos and craziness, I will be taking a very very limited number of photography sessions in the early part of the year. So, if you are hoping to get pictures with me between January and June, don't wait to book or I may not be able to work you in. I have had a lot of people asking about mini-sessions and I am planning a mini-session before mothers day as long as I am feeling good and have no pregnancy complications. I am looking for some turning 1-year-old models to do cake smash photos with in January. Contact me for details if you are interested.

And with that, hold on to your hats people, because the next few months are going to be a crazy crazy ride!

photos found

On my little rampage from earlier today, I decided to continue my sorting

of pictures and just couldn't resist sharing a few gems...for no particular reason!

I can't get over how colorful the leaves were just a few short months ago!

Now all that we can see is a blanket of white!

Wonderful in a totally different way!

My attempt to document my presence in the life of the family...

camera on auto...focus on auto...unsteady hand...still priceless!

does this picture even need words?

I find such delight in knowing that these girls have each other for sisters!

bed buddy

This morning a little blonde headed girl climbed into bed with me to snuggle and give me kisses...

and I just couldn't help but be happy happy happy.

It was a pretty normal morning - sounds of the man I love making breakfast in the kitchen,

(yep, that's normal lately - aren't you jealous - best husband ever) 

a little boy getting ready for school all on his own,

a little girl gabbing away in her almost-2-year-old language that only she really understands,

and the sound of my sweet middle baby girl saying, "I love you mommy."

"I love you too," I said, "will you just be my best buddy forever!"

"yeah, " she replied...and then she hurried off to the breakfast table

as she heard the sound of plates hitting the table.

But me, I just layed there, thinking about how much I love my sweet little family,

how grateful I am for the three sweet little spirits that Heavenly Father sent just to me,

and how happy we all are to meet #4 and learn all about another little personality and

another spirit and another piece of our family that we'll wonder how we ever lived without.

I hope that the 4 of them never get too old to still be best buddies with their mom

or snuggle into my bed to give me hugs and kisses.

I hope that Chloe always wants to tell me about every minute of her day.

I hope that Brynn will keep on needing kisses from Mom to overcome bumps on the head,

scrapes on the knee and all the other little things that hurt her feelings throughout the day.

I hope that Morgan still demands his 3 hugs and kiss before bed for a good long time to come. 

I am so glad to be their mommy, and since I know that these sweet moments probably won't

last forever (despite my wishes that they would), I am cherishing them right now,

and in 10 years when Chloe is 13 and awful (because all 13 year old girls are awful)

I will remind her that one morning, when she was 3, she climbed in my bed to snuggle and told me

that we could be best buddies forever. She'll surely roll her eyes and say "whatever"

(as only 13 year old girls can), but I'll keep loving her anyway, cause that's my job as her mommy.

Quandry

Yesterday I put Morgan in his room and Chloe in her room for naps. About 30 minutes in, I heard Chloe playing with someone in her room and realized that Morgan had snuck upstairs, laid a towel on the floor outside her door to muffle the noise, and quietly snuck into her room. I was too tired to go and put them back in separate rooms, and left them in there.

They played for a good hour and a half before it was time to go to Grandma's house. I wonder, though, why they can play together nicely for a full hour and a half when they are being sneaky together in the room, but we can't go 30 minutes normally without hearing, "he took my toy" or "she messed up my cards" or crying in general? Hmmmm?

recovering

from all 3 kids having this...

looking like this...

and getting popsicles at the Dr's office...

Where's my popsicle, I wonder? I was the one doing all the hard work there!

Friday

Yesterday was Seth's day off.

We did a lot of stuff (errands, mow the lawn, etc), but the most important stuff...

Took a morning walk together (including Callie) at this lovely park/trail in Holladay.

BBQ-ed hot dogs and had a picnic lunch outside.

Picked up Bucca Di Beppo take out, spread blankets all over the living room floor and had a "picnic dinner" in the living room while we watched a movie.

Of course, popcorn was involved.

Seth's days off are like holidays.

Happy.

Thursday...

After 2 phone calls were interrupted by screaming children, we learned and role played

how to properly interrupt mommy when she is on the phone.

"excuse me..."

Gladly, it is working.

We went to Old Navy and Carters to get some random stuff

that I forgot when I did our summer clothes shopping.

We stopped at the distribution center for Seth.

And we (finally) got the wire from Michaels to turn our portrait frame into a landscape one so that I can hang up the 16x20 picture that has been precariously perched on our entry bench for over a month. Since the kids were fairly well-behaved, they each got to pick out a colorful sand pail.

I love summer.

Finally made it to the library for some new reading material for the kids.

Back home for reading books, lunch, naps and playing outside.

Whipped up a very random, very Greek dinner:

I was craving lemon rice...so I started that...and I had a bunch of asparagus that needed to be used asap, so I steamed that. And then I was at a loss.

Called my mom for inspiration and she suggested mixing the asparagus with the rice and adding some feta and canned chicken. Decided not to, but the mixing idea and the canned chicken inspired a new creation: Greek Chicken Salad Toss.

diced tomatoes, chopped asparagus, feta, canned chicken and Greek dressing

It was fabulous...and I am clearly quite proud of my concoction in the face of another night eating corn dogs or quesadillas.

Remembered why I really need to get back on the meal planning bandwagon!

Ate popsicles while sitting on the tailgate of the car...which the kids thought was fabulous...but was really meant to motivate me to unload the stuff out of the back of the car.

Books and books and more books.

Goodnight for kids.

Sherlock Holmes for the hubs (and kind of me, though I can't admit to actually watching it because it is one of those intense movies that I can't get sucked into or it will give me nightmares) and working on updating my portfolio on the website for me.