random thoughts at 23 weeks

Monday will mark 23 weeks in my pregnancy...more than halfway!

I am not sure what is so different this time around, but the whole thing just doesn't seem real to me.

Yes...I feel giant and have to wear maternity clothes. 

Yes...It is super uncomfortable to sleep and I wake up at least 10 times a night to reposition.

Yes...the sight/feel/smell of raw meat makes me gag.

Yes...I have crazy bad heartburn every.single.night (could this be a sign of a baby girl with hair? hoping!)

And yes...my sciatic nerve is pinched and forces me to stand up while still bent over and then straighten incrementally from there (Seth laughs at me...I am sure I look like a 95 year old trying to stand up)

But...otherwise, I feel really great! I have energy and I feel productive most days.

I can eat just about anything (except meat that I touched when raw and Dr. Pepper).

I don't need to take naps every afternoon just to make it through the day.

I no longer feel inclined to go to bed at 8:30 pm (most nights anyway).

We have no idea what to name this baby girl...and that DOESN'T stress me out.

I am not tempted to buy adorable outfits for her when we are out and about.

I am not feeling stressed that we have no idea where we will be living when this baby gets here.

I don't worry that we are supposed to be listing our house in less than 2 months (although I probably should).

I am not overwhelmed at the idea of hauling 4 kids to Dr. appointments and soccer games and swimming lessons and dance classes (ok...maybe a little overwhelmed, but it isn't keeping me up at night).

Usually when I am pregnant this is not the case.

I have come to the conclusion that all of this is a tender mercy from my Heavenly Father. 

A reminder that my little family is being watched over and cared for and that whether I worry or not, 

it will all work out...and more importantly, that His plan is better than mine anyway! 

A reminder that this road we are on right now, though it is difficult, is the one that we should be on.

A reminder that the long days and the sacrifices are all worth it. 

A reminder that I don't need to know all the answers or understand the whole plan to continue on in faith.
A reminder that I am known to Him...and He wants me to be happy.

Today has been a hard day: kids fighting, Seth gone to work for what seems like the 20th day in a row with no end in sight, messes in every room of the house, feeling lonely and depleted and impatient, and wishing there were something I could do to get everyone out of the house, but not having the energy for an outing alone on a Saturday...and then, the sun (literally) came out from behind the clouds, my house went from gray and bleak to sunny and happy and I could walk outside without a jacket and not freeze...and I knew that it was all going to be ok. I took a deep breath, made some lunch, and we all went outside and rode bikes and enjoyed the fresh air for 30 minutes before the clouds came back and we started to shiver,
and it was just what we needed. 

I am so glad for reminders like these that give me the strength to carry on.

And now...if you made it through my ramblings...some randomness in the form of pictures.

self-portrait of my 23 week belly (taken yesterday)
I am about the same weight as my pre-pregnancy weight before Chloe. Weird.

Another self-portrait of my belly...from a different perspective...taken today


and the more exciting stuff...
kids playing in the fleeting February sunshine this afternoon












Footnotes:

1. Morgan and Chloe got the matching monkey rainboots for Christmas...
Brynn's size was not available...
they are obsessed and wear them almost every day!

2. Chloe's blue striped jacket is from Old Navy's clearance rack yesterday...
time will tell if she is obsessed, but I can definitely tell you that I am!

3. You may have noticed that most of us are sporting some shades of pink or red...
the Valentine's day countdown has begun!

4. While I completely ADORE my new zoom lens, I am officially getting lazy when I shoot.
I am used to running toward/away from the subject to get the shot I want, but twisting the zoom is so.much.easier! Sadly, there goes my plan to lose the baby weight! lol!

5. I have determined that sunshine makes people happy...look at those great big smiles on their faces!

6. Yes...that is my car INSIDE of our garage. Both Seth and I park in the garage! I never thought the day would come that we would have a garage we park in, but I am so glad it has! You may also notice the completely open driveway...we said goodbye to Seth's mercedes a few weeks ago.
A little sad, but a lot of happy (and a lot more room to play on days like today)!