laboring

Well, despite my wishing and trying to get this little lady here before her induction date, she decided to be stubborn and wait it out!

My belly profile this morning before leaving for the hospital...so ready to get rid of the belly! I was scheduled to come in at 7:15 and they got me in the room and hooked up to everything by 8:00 am. I started the day at 3.5 cm dialated and 80% effaced, so I am hoping this labor will be a quick one.

As we suspected, the kids weren't even awake by the time I left, so Seth got the kids ready and met me at the hospital. Before they came, Morgan called me to see if baby sister was here yet...I think he is a little excited. They loved playing on my bed and eating my ice chips! My nurse probably did not like that they were playing on my bed and eating ice chips, however, because she had to keep adjusting the baby's heart rate monitor.



Then Grandma got here to take them to play at her house and we just got a call from Brynn letting us know that they are having fun and finding out what Seth wants for lunch. It is now 11:40 and they are going to give me my epidural and break my water pretty soon here, so things should get moving along! I will keep you posted!

P.S. Flavored ice chips are my new favorite! Yay!
P.P.S. In preparing for this baby, looking back at my posts from being in labor last time were super helpful and so interesting to me...thus the boring details and TMI. :)

remember...

I am a super slacker to post this stuff without pictures, but I know by the time I take the pictures and remember to post them, I will already have forgotten. So, I give you a bunch of random stuff I want to remember:

- I did Chloe's hair in big wavy curls today with a cute little fabric flower bow. She looked way too grown up. Every time I thought to take a picture she had chocolate ice cream or yogurt or macaroni and cheese on her face, so I didn't, and I am not sure I am ready to recreate it because I don't think I can handle another day of her looking so grown up. She was absolutely beautiful, though, and she knew it. All day she walked around telling everyone that she had pretty curly hair that her mommy gave her. It made my day that she was so happy about something I did for her.

- Brynn sucks her thumb. Not only that, but she loves stuffed animals. She loves to suck the noses of her stuffed animals. Every.single.time she picks up a stuffed animal (even off the shelves at the store if I don't catch her fast enough) she immediately opens her mouth and inserts the nose of the stuffed animal in it. You can tell her favorite stuffed animals by the wear on their noses. And, while it kind of drives me crazy, it is a sweet reminder that she is my baby and I know I will miss it when she gets big enough to stop.

- Morgan is reading like a champ! I love finding him sitting with a book and hearing him sounding out the words to himself, just because, or writing random lists of things and stories. I can take absolutely no credit for his active little brain and love of learning, because I don't do nearly as much as I should with him at home, but I love how much he loves learning. (I guess I can take credit for choosing the perfect school for his needs and driving him there every morning...that's a contribution, right?)

- I am 26 weeks along. That means I am entering my 3rd trimester...ummm, that happened REALLY fast! I saw the picture I posted a few weeks ago and coveted my own body. I am getting bigger every second, it seems, and all the wonderful stuff that accompanies the "huge" stage are appearing/continuing: daily heartburn, sciatic nerve pain, lack of breath, tossing and turning at night because I can't get comfortable, constant need to pee, fatigue and expansion of my legs, hips and bum. I keep reminding myself that I will eventually get back to my skinny body that can roll around on the floor and carry kids around and stand up without pain and something to hold onto, but it takes a lot of reassuring for my vanity to believe it.

- They are coming to measure for carpet this week. I can hardly believe we are this close, but I am so excited! We looked at carpet until I couldn't even tell the difference between the colors anymore (or maybe I just got so sick of it that I didn't care?), but I am excited to leave the next homeowners with something much better that what we have lived with for the past 6 1/2 years. All that is left is paint touch up inside, paint touch up outside, packing lots of stuff into a storage pod and some deep cleaning and we will be listing!

- Seth finished his rotations at the U of U ER. It was a really long 8 weeks of 7 days a week most weeks. The shifts were always longer than planned and it was extremely taxing on our family, but the next (and final) rotation is office hours 3 days a week, so he will only work 6 shifts a week (3 8 hour clinicals, and 3 12 hour work shifts). Crazy to think that I am excited about that being a "break", but oh...I am excited for the break!

- I cleaned out my fabric stash and now have a couple of large cuts of fabric that I would like to sell and some smaller cuts that I need to donate somewhere. Anyone know where to sell or donate fabric? Also...why do I buy so much fabric? must.stop.doing.that!

- I thought we had come to terms with forgoing loan repayment and staying in Salt Lake (because I really would prefer to just stay here and not venture into the scary unknown). But, in the best interest of our family and getting out of student debt sooner than later, I have been persuaded to consider out-of-state opportunities (Seth is very happy about this!). While it is still scary, I am growing fond of the idea of a new adventure for a few years. We will begin applying to positions this week. It will be nice to have some kind of plan and direction instead of being in complete limbo. If you have positive thoughts on moving outside of Salt Lake, please feel free to reassure me. My emotional state is like a rollercoaster and I can use all the positive energy around moving away that I can get! If you have negative thoughts...maybe it would be best not to share them right now. A few of the places we are applying: Portland, Seattle, California (a couple of places), Moab and Hawaii...Hawaii is a very long shot logistically, but we will apply and see what happens, and if we end up there, you all better come and visit us!

- I still love pinterest.

random thoughts at 23 weeks

Monday will mark 23 weeks in my pregnancy...more than halfway!

I am not sure what is so different this time around, but the whole thing just doesn't seem real to me.

Yes...I feel giant and have to wear maternity clothes. 

Yes...It is super uncomfortable to sleep and I wake up at least 10 times a night to reposition.

Yes...the sight/feel/smell of raw meat makes me gag.

Yes...I have crazy bad heartburn every.single.night (could this be a sign of a baby girl with hair? hoping!)

And yes...my sciatic nerve is pinched and forces me to stand up while still bent over and then straighten incrementally from there (Seth laughs at me...I am sure I look like a 95 year old trying to stand up)

But...otherwise, I feel really great! I have energy and I feel productive most days.

I can eat just about anything (except meat that I touched when raw and Dr. Pepper).

I don't need to take naps every afternoon just to make it through the day.

I no longer feel inclined to go to bed at 8:30 pm (most nights anyway).

We have no idea what to name this baby girl...and that DOESN'T stress me out.

I am not tempted to buy adorable outfits for her when we are out and about.

I am not feeling stressed that we have no idea where we will be living when this baby gets here.

I don't worry that we are supposed to be listing our house in less than 2 months (although I probably should).

I am not overwhelmed at the idea of hauling 4 kids to Dr. appointments and soccer games and swimming lessons and dance classes (ok...maybe a little overwhelmed, but it isn't keeping me up at night).

Usually when I am pregnant this is not the case.

I have come to the conclusion that all of this is a tender mercy from my Heavenly Father. 

A reminder that my little family is being watched over and cared for and that whether I worry or not, 

it will all work out...and more importantly, that His plan is better than mine anyway! 

A reminder that this road we are on right now, though it is difficult, is the one that we should be on.

A reminder that the long days and the sacrifices are all worth it. 

A reminder that I don't need to know all the answers or understand the whole plan to continue on in faith.
A reminder that I am known to Him...and He wants me to be happy.

Today has been a hard day: kids fighting, Seth gone to work for what seems like the 20th day in a row with no end in sight, messes in every room of the house, feeling lonely and depleted and impatient, and wishing there were something I could do to get everyone out of the house, but not having the energy for an outing alone on a Saturday...and then, the sun (literally) came out from behind the clouds, my house went from gray and bleak to sunny and happy and I could walk outside without a jacket and not freeze...and I knew that it was all going to be ok. I took a deep breath, made some lunch, and we all went outside and rode bikes and enjoyed the fresh air for 30 minutes before the clouds came back and we started to shiver,
and it was just what we needed. 

I am so glad for reminders like these that give me the strength to carry on.

And now...if you made it through my ramblings...some randomness in the form of pictures.

self-portrait of my 23 week belly (taken yesterday)
I am about the same weight as my pre-pregnancy weight before Chloe. Weird.

Another self-portrait of my belly...from a different perspective...taken today


and the more exciting stuff...
kids playing in the fleeting February sunshine this afternoon












Footnotes:

1. Morgan and Chloe got the matching monkey rainboots for Christmas...
Brynn's size was not available...
they are obsessed and wear them almost every day!

2. Chloe's blue striped jacket is from Old Navy's clearance rack yesterday...
time will tell if she is obsessed, but I can definitely tell you that I am!

3. You may have noticed that most of us are sporting some shades of pink or red...
the Valentine's day countdown has begun!

4. While I completely ADORE my new zoom lens, I am officially getting lazy when I shoot.
I am used to running toward/away from the subject to get the shot I want, but twisting the zoom is so.much.easier! Sadly, there goes my plan to lose the baby weight! lol!

5. I have determined that sunshine makes people happy...look at those great big smiles on their faces!

6. Yes...that is my car INSIDE of our garage. Both Seth and I park in the garage! I never thought the day would come that we would have a garage we park in, but I am so glad it has! You may also notice the completely open driveway...we said goodbye to Seth's mercedes a few weeks ago.
A little sad, but a lot of happy (and a lot more room to play on days like today)!

the results are in...

Today we had our ultra sound and were so happy to hear that our little one is looking absolutely perfect! Size looks great...10 fingers, 10 toes, belly button, eyes, lips and nose. We couldn't be more thrilled!

We decided not to take the kiddos to the ultrasound (thanks for babysitting mom!) so promptly after picking Morgan up from his school short day, we had a little "movie afternoon". We popped some popcorn, snuggled up in front of the tv, and popped in the ultrasound dvd.

The kids were clearly a little bit excited to see the baby...

We saw

a sweet little face

tiny fingers trying to grab tiny toes

a little one all scrunched up with knees to chest

and...

no baby boy parts!

That's right people...we are in for

more pink,

more tutus,

more hair bows,

more flowers,

more dresses,

more tights,

more dress ups and barbies and littlest petshops,

more princesses,
more dancing,
more tiny polka dot shoes,
and more drama (heaven help us)!

We are so excited for another little lady who will undoubtedly
capture our heartsjust as instantly as her sisters have before her!

It took a little persuasion, but we have talked Morgan into keeping Chloe,
so you will have 2 big sisters to show you the ropes and a wonderfully awesome
big brother to balance out the estrogen and love you like crazy!

kisses and hugs my sweet!
We can't wait to meet you!

7 Days a Week Seth

Yesterday was the start of Seth's 7 day work weeks (if only he were getting paid for working all those days - lol!). We thought that his clinical rotation would only require him to work 3 shifts a week, but when he got his schedule, it turns out he has 4 shifts a week. Add in his 3 regular work shifts and that is 7 days a week...every week...for 8 weeks...no days off. I keep catching myself feeling sorry for myself that I am going to be alone so much, and doing all the kid stuff on my own, and doing church with 3 kids on my own, and trying to get the house ready to sell on my own...but then I think of my sweet sweet husband who is actually doing the work 7 days a week and all I can think about is what I need to do for him to help him get through.

I think that is why I always look back on the hardest times in our life and think they were so sweet. Even though it is hard and the day to day is overwhelming, you truly learn to rely on each other and on the Lord. Seth picks up the slack when I am at the end of my rope, I pick up the slack when he is at the end of his, and we rely together on the Lord when neither of us have anything left to give! What a blessing it is that by working 7 days a week a few of those shifts are shorter (only 8 hours) and allow Seth to spend time with the kids when they are awake, what a blessing it is that we are so close to family and friends who support us so much, what a blessing that our kids are still young and don't have hours of homework or lessons or sports teams to add to our already overflowing plate, what a blessing it will be when Seth finally graduates, and what a blessing that we can face the challenges together as a family! I know it will get harder...today is only day 2...but I am just trying to embrace the challenge and the blessings it will bring.

In other news, our ultrasound is scheduled for Thursday of this week...we are getting excited to find out

boy or girl!

Any guesses?

I didn't think it was possible...

but I am quite certain that the first trimester fog is finally lifting!

I was absolutely convinced that I wasn't going to make it through this pregnancy, but since Monday, I have been feeling a hundred gazillion times better! Here's how I know...

1. Food tastes good. I actually enjoy eating again!

2. The world looks brighter...and I don't mean that figuratively. I actually feel inclined to pull out my camera and take pictures because there is just this beautiful light all around me and I feel like I haven't seen it in months!

3. I can handle errands with 3 kids...for example Costco on Black Friday mid morning did not make me want to pull my hair out or sit in the middle of the store and cry. Clearly this must be a sign that I feel better because even my non-pregnant self considers this an accomplishment!

4. My house is beginning to get put back together. Floors are getting swept, toys are getting put away, groceries are actually making it all the way to their cupboards and not staying in grocery bags on the kitchen floor for weeks.

5. I do not need to take Zofran twice a day...or even once a day...in fact, I have had more non-zofran days than zofran days this week!

6. Daily naps...no longer neccesary, although still nice!

7. I have started nagging Seth about the honey do list...he is super happy that I am feeling better! ;)

8. My kids are thrilled that mommy who doesn't yell all.the.time has returned! (she still yells sometimes, but time outs and losing privileges and general discussion have made quite the comeback!) I didn't even realize that the yelling was more related to how I was feeling than how they were acting. Hindsight is 20/20.

9. I bring home actual food when I go to the grocery store...real ingredients so that I can make a meal, not just random essentials like milk and eggs and tortilla chips and lifesavers candy.

10. I started feeling better on Monday...Monday was my 12 week mark. It is pretty weird to me since I have never had such a stark change so early in a pregnancy, but oh, how I am thankful that the change came fast and soon!

On the flip side, I still cannot drink Dr. Pepper (which is kind of a bummer) and I was not prepared for the change in the waistline to come so soon. It is safe to say that I am not particularly happy about it, either! Goodbye darling pants that fit so easily. Goodbye getting ready in the morning and putting on whatever I wanted out of my closet or drawers and feeling completely happy with how I looked in it. Goodbye non-pudgo stomach free from love handles and rolls. Hello pregnant body. I haven't missed you and I can't wait for you to be gone away forever...after you so miraculously bring me another sweet little soul to love and snuggle and kiss and cuddle, of course!

In the end, it is all worth it, but in the meantime, it is a major bummer!

A good day

Woke up this morning feeling yuck, but after munching crackers in bed while Seth took care of all the morning stuff for the kids, I got up and going feeling better than I have in a long time. I had so much energy and no nausia. I had my first appointment with my OB...got to see the little one in there dancing around on the ultrasound, cleaned the house, made granola (and the house smell amazing in the process), and switched out the holiday decorations. When the kids woke up from their naps Chloe said, "Ooooh, our house looks spooky, but not scary spooky." Apparently Thanksgiving decor is still some sort of spooky.

Hoping that this energy sticks around for about 7 more months...a girl can dream, right?

root beer candy

In the line at Hobby Lobby today there was one lonely bag of old fashioned root beer hard candy hanging next to the nasty cinnamon and horehound stuff, and I nonchalantly mentioned to Chloe that she needed to leave everything alone, but if she wanted she could grab that one bag on the bottom and we could share it. Of course, she took me up on the offer...and of course, I have eaten most of the bag of candies.

They are like the perfect amount of "something" to take away that nasty I-need-to-eat-or-throw-up-right-now feeling. And when it comes back, I just pop another one in! Plus it is like a little carbonation dance in your mouth...how do they make those candies actually taste like you are drinking a sparkly carbonated beverage? However they do it...awesome!

in conclusion: I love hard root beer candy today, pregnancy is clearly making me a little loopy, and I am really really missing my Dr. Pepper in all its carbonated glory.

taking each day one zofran dose at a time

I definitely spoke too soon with my last post...

(and consider this fair warning that this post is sure to be filled

with my complaints about the awfulness of pregnancy!)

Last Friday I literally called my mom from my bed at 10:00 am to see if she would bring me an asiago bagel from einsteins because every time I tried to stand up, I literally fell back down. Thankfully she came to the rescue with multiple asiago bagels and did my dishes and straitened up my kitchen (not an easy task, but, as she told me later...she knew I needed the help because my face was literally green when she got here).

I have yet to actually throw up this pregnancy, but the nausia doesn't ever go away...ever. 24/7 nausia. It is horrible! I have been able to eat quite a variety of food, but I absolutely cannot survive a full day without an afternoon nap (and usually that nap is 2-3 hours...and still not long enough). I take zofran with apple juice every 4-8 hours...and drink a whole lot of apple juice since it is the only thing I can drink that doesn't make me gag. I go days without even turning on my computer...which is quite unusual for me...good think I have email on my phone, or I would be completely out of the loop!

Today I am 9 weeks. This little one is the size of a grape and the heart is dividing into 4 chambers. It has eyelids and all of the major organs in place. The kids are LOVING tracking the growth...they look forward to Mondays when I get the email update complete with picture of the growing baby. "Is your computer connected to the baby?" Morgan asked me today. LOL! It is such a beautiful miracle to watch how this little one is growing and developing each week...and kind of incredible that something the size of a grape can make my entire body feel so utterly horrible!

I need to update about all of the Halloween festivities too, but since I am never on the computer, suffice it to say, we had a lot of festivities - and a lot of fun. Our activities committee threw a fabulous trunk or treat/dinner/carnival, Grandma Colleen hosted her annual trip to the pumpkin patch and halloween bash, I was in charge of Morgan's Kindergarten Halloween party, and the kids got to have a sleepover with Grandpa Mark and Grandma Char the night before Halloween (which meant a morning of sleeping in without interruption for me and Seth, but a night of no sleep for anyone having a sleepover). And finally a night of trick or treating in the rain with the Barlows...we were literally soaked to the bone! Anyway...lots of fun!

a little better...

Woo Hoo! Feeling a little bit better this week than I was last. Still feeling yucky overall, but my naps are getting shorter and my food options are expanding a bit. I had a can of Dr. Pepper tonight and it didn't make me gag...so I consider that a major improvement...one can was as much as I could handle though.

Morgan is still being a good helper and we are having fun charting the progress of the baby. It is now the size of a pinto bean and the kids are pumped that it can bend its elbows and knees this week. Plus fingers and toes are starting to appear! Morgan can't wait to hear the heartbeat and see the ultrasound...it will be a long 10 weeks!

Seth's application for graduation is due MONDAY! I can't believe how real the end is seeming and how close it is! I have my fingers crossed that we survive the next 6 months...we'll be selling our house, finding a new place to live, finding a new job, getting ready for baby #4 and of course graduating (and all the work that comes with that!). But, we are looking forward with excitement and anticipation!

So, yeah, things are a little better this week and we arehoping it will keep getting better from here!

knowing...

Written Friday, October 1


On Monday I felt like death. My body was heavy. I couldn't lift my arms or stand up for longer than 15 minutes at a time. Awful.



Still feeling like I'd been hit by a train, and per Seth's suggestion, I took a pregnancy test Tuesday morning. Negative. Ruling that out, I figured Tuesday would get better, but it didn't...we had playgroup, so I rallied the kids into the car, loaded the bikes and couldn't get my chair out fast enough to sit down and watch them ride around the church parking lot with their buddies (in the scorching heat of...late-September, really?). We survived, came home to crock pot dinner and I couldn't get the kids into bed fast enough because I was exhausted.



Thinking I had slept it off, Wednesday met me with hope. Seth was home until lunch time and took both kids to school (and picked them up). I got lots of work done, but still felt icky...and like I really wanted Little Ceasars Pizza...but Seth made lunch instead. Then Seth headed off to school and I literally could not keep my eyes open and fell asleep in the middle of editing a session (which is completely unheard of, by the way, because I get usually get so excited about the images I can't tear myself away from the screen). So I slept...a good solid hour or so...and when I woke up, I knew. Luckily those pregnancy tests come in a double pack. So I took another test...again, it looked negative...what in the world...and then Seth came in the door from school, and a faint line started to appear...and then that line got darker and darker and by the time he had said hello to the kids and came to say hi to me, it was official... baby #4 was on the way (and I was feeling much better about the fact that I had felt like a total bum all week)! So we celebrated with Little Caesar's Pizza and breadsticks and movie night in the middle of the week.

So yesterday marked 7 weeks and I feel plain old awful. Apparently I really did forget how horrible pregnancy is (I didn't think that was possible...I am certain I didn't forget the other times). Morgan has been a complete champ (and the only way I have been surviving). Yesterday he made lunch (toast and string cheese), fed the girls, helped everyone get into their beds and covered my very sick and exhausted lump of a body with a blanket after I collapsed on the couch. When I was able to function again, I gave him a hug to tell him thank you and how wonderful he is and realized that he was burning with a fever - 102 degrees. Seriously, the kid is amazing (and I feel like a completely delinquent mother)! After that, I made sure he got a little pampering of his own and some motrin! My sweet mom called and offered to bring dinner over...which saved us considering dinner was looking like cereal or more toast and string cheese. The kids were in bed by 6:30 pm and I was asleep by 7:00. Today has been better...mostly because I discovered that when I read the dosage instructions for my zofran perscription, I was actually looking at my folic acid perscription - turns out I can take zofran every 4-6 hours...not once a day as I thought. :)

Kind of early to be announcing this, Jen...
Right, right, I know you are supposed to wait until you are out of the "scary stage", but I have been through the miscarriage thing before, and frankly, for me, it is much harder to go through it alone. So, I have decided that I'd rather have a community of support than a private battle if anything goes wrong, but by the way I am feeling, things are looking good. Also, it is quite possible that this baby is our last, and I want to remember all these little things. Plus, pregnancy brain is already well on its way to taking over my brain, so details get very fuzzy the longer I wait to write them down.


So little baby Tate #4...your mommy and daddy and big brother and big sisters and puppy are awating your arrival! We are tracking your growth every week and looking at pictures of what you are becoming! ( as of today you are the size of a blueberry...Morgan loved finding that out). We are thinking of names - like catsup nose (thank you for that suggestion Morgan) - and hoping like crazy that you are a boy! Mostly because Morgan says if you are a girl, we will have to give Chloe away because he can only handle 2 sisters...and I think he may be right! ;) Plus, Chloe says that we got a girl baby for her (Brynn) and now we need a boy baby for Morgan! But even if you are another girl - we will still love you like crazy...and we won't really get rid of Chloe!!!! Chloe started working very hard to be able to do her own buckle as soon as we found out, so the big kids can move to the back row of the car to make room for you, and she has totally mastered it! Keep on growing, little one, and we will see you at the end of May! love love love you!

P.S. Dear friends and family - I tend to become a cranky, opinionated, know-it-all, stinker when I am pregnant. I am seriously SERIOUSLY trying to keep this in check so that I am not the world's meanest pregnant lady this time around, but please, when I say something stupid or self-centered or opinionated, do not be offended...it is just the pregnancy horromones...pregnant Jen and real Jen aren't even friends. Thanks!

Goodbye Belly

Oh, pregnant belly, how I do not miss you at all! I love lying on my stomach to sleep, read, type and relax. I love being able to wipe the kitchen table without climbing up onto it so I can reach the middle. I love that I no longer have to pre-spot the midsection of every shirt before putting it in the washing machine. While my midsection is definitely not what I wish it was, I sure am glad you are gone! So, goodbye belly - I know I'll see you again, but until then, you will not be missed!

The Details

I know I promised details and pictures in my last post, but it has taken me longer than I expected to get everything recorded, so here they are. Feel free to just look at the pictures - my record keeping tends to be very detailed which can often translate to boring or TMI. :)

My labor with her was pretty long and boring. Despite lots of Pitocin and my water being broken, I was only dialating about a cm an hour. At 2:00 I was at 4 cm. and by 5:30 pm, I was only to a 6, so the nurse said she would check me again at 6:30. I was feeling some pain on my right side, so the anesthesiologist gave me a boost in my epidural, and shortly after, Morgan pushed my epidural button as he asked, “What’s this?” and gave me another boost. Up until then I had really great feeling and control of my legs, which I was feeling really good about. Oh well, I thought, at this rate it will be a while before I start pushing, so the double boost will wear off and I will have more leg control to push. My dad, mom, step dad, brothers and kids had all come by to visit and pass the time, but they were all getting hungry, so they decided to head out for dinner since it was going to be awhile. The combination of not sleeping Tuesday night and all of the pitocin in my system was making me really sleepy, so I took a short nap when they left.

At 6:15 the nurse came in to bring me more ice chips and check my monitor and I asked her to check me so I could go back to sleep and not have to be wake up again in 15 minutes. She checked me, and to our surprise, I was at a 10, completely effaced and there was a baby head ready to pop out. Seth called my mom and told her to hurry back and the nurse caught my OBGYN, who was on his way to do an emergency C-section. Dr. Lamb (my OB) came to see if he should go do the C-section first and then come deliver me or if I was close enough to delivering that he would have to deliver me first. The plan was to do a test push and see where we were, but when he checked me, he forbade me from pushing and told me to hold her in until he got his gloves on. My mom walked in the door right then - perfect timing! I held perfectly still so as not to push while Dr. Lamb got his robe-thing over his arms and his gloves on. He had me do a soft push and the little head popped out, he had me push softly one more time (during the same contraction) and there came her tiny little body! I remember looking at the clock while they were cleaning her up and thinking - it is a good thing I had them check me at 6:15, because it isn't 6:30 yet and I have a baby!

Since everything went faster than my body was expecting, my uterus didn't firm up as quickly as it should have, so my doctor was worried about hemorrhaging. They gave me a shot of something and massaged my tummy vigorously for the next 20 minutes - at which point I was grateful Morgan had given me that extra epidural boost! When she was all cleaned off, Seth and my Mom got to hold her and I fed her for the first time. As I held her and looked into her sweet face, she looked like a Brynn. I asked Seth what he thought and thankfully he agreed, so she finally had a name! My family got back shortly afterward and everyone got to hold and admire her before she was whisked away for all of her testing and evaluations. Morgan and Chloe were so excited to meet their little sister. Morgan couldn’t wait to hold her and took a turn right away. After she saw that Morgan was excited to hold her, Chloe wanted a turn and then the next 10 minutes were filled with each child proclaiming, “my turn,” as soon as the other one (or anyone else) got her. Once the baby was gone, everyone headed out and my mom and John took the kids home to get them to bed.

Brynn was perfectly healthy and beautiful from the second she arrived, but I really struggled with my recovery. I felt pretty good – not shaky or freezing as with past deliveries – but the shot they gave me to help my uterus firm up made really sick, and I ended up throwing up the ice chips, 2 crackers and a few sips of “post-delivery cocktail” that I had been able to eat. They gave me some zofran and I started feeling much better. They moved us up to our post-partum room and Seth headed over to give Brynn her bath. My grandparents and Seth's family arrived just in time to see the bath and my food came. Since it was late in the evening, it was just a turkey sandwich, jello, pudding and juice. Everyone came in our room to visit and hold baby Brynn and I slowly ate my jello and pudding and drank some juice, but the medicine was still affecting me and I ended up throwing everything up again. By that point everyone had gotten a chance to hold Brynn, so they all headed out.
Seth wanted to go show off pictures of his baby girl to his co-workers in the ER and then he headed home to relieve my mom and John. Over the course of the night, I got very little sleep. Brynn was excited to eat, so she came back to see me every couple of hours. Tearing during delivery had caused swelling and I couldn’t go to the bathroom on my own, so they put me on an IV drip and a catheter for the night. This made sleep more difficult, so I didn’t get much sleep – again.

I “woke” up feeling utterly exhausted and very emotional. They dropped of my breakfast and I burst into tears. Why? I don’t exactly know. Possibly because I was starving and the toast was covering the eggs on the plate and I was thinking there was no way this piece of toast and 2 slices of bacon were going to cut it. In the midst of this mini-meltdown, the doctor came in to do rounds and her inquiry as to how I was feeling led to more uncontrollable and unexplainable tears. Nope, no pain…nope, no complications with the baby…nope, no lack of support…really – everything is good, I just can’t stop crying! Then my new nurse for the day came to introduce herself while I was still emotional and then the new CNA for the day came to introduce herself. Finally after the bombardment of people, I was able to get control of my emotions and felt very embarrassed for the breakdown! When the pediatrician came for his rounds, I was able to avoid a total meltdown – woo hoo!
Seth brought the kids in a little later and I was so excited to see them and hear that they missed having me there when they woke up. We watched the rest of Wall-E, but when that ended, I realized that having kids in a hospital room is highly stressful. They held baby Brynn, got on and off of my bed, pushed every button in the room, called the nurse and the nursery at least 5 times and almost ripped out my catheter tripping on the tubing. To avoid another total meltdown, Seth took the kids home to eat lunch and take naps.

After they left, I got my catheter out and was able to take a short nap which made all the difference. I felt like myself again! My mom brought a breadstick and some cookies from the Pizza Factory and some outfits for little Brynnie. Later I got to take a shower and get dressed and then Seth and the kids came back to visit with Happy Meals in tow – much less stressful this time (I think that was mostly due to my mental state)! After we ate our dinners, we headed over to the nursery to get Brynn and ran into Grandpa Mark in the hall. We went back to our room and held Brynn and then Grandpa took the kids to get ice cream and play at McDonalds while Seth and I rested in the room. At 7:30, Seth headed out to get the kids and get them home to bed so he could watch the office. My mom and John brought me some food later and I was able to get a little more sleep Thursday night.
The kids were so cute when they got to my room Friday morning and they were very excited to see their baby sister! We attempted to have some pictures taken – but they didn’t want to cooperate, so we just got Brynn’s picture taken and then we checked out and headed home!













THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to all of our family and friends who have been so sweet to us! The help with the kids, offers to help with the kids, provision of food and treats, sweet and tiny outfits for Brynnie, emails, comments, texts, etc. of love and support have not gone unnoticed! We are truly so blessed to have such amazing support! We love you so much!

Welcome to the World Baby Brynn

Announcing our sweet little angel

Brynn Tate

Born January 21 at 6:26 PM

6 lbs. 4 oz. 18 1/4 inches long

We love this little girl so much and are so glad to have her here! I will post more pictures and details later. Mom and Baby are doing great!

Here is the "ready to have a baby" picture that I forgot to add to the last post.

Labor

Look at me being a devoted blogger - this post is coming to you from the labor and delivery room, IV'd wrist, epidural and all!

When I called at 6:00 this morning they told me to be here by 7:15 and by 7:30, I was in my gown and hooked up to the monitors. It is interesting how laid back I am with this baby compared to the previous two. Morgan had preschool this morning and niether of the kids are awake by 7:15, so I told Seth to stay in bed and I drove myself to the hospital and carried my own bags in, much to the surprise of the nurses.

By 8:30 they had me on pitocin got me my epidural around 11:45 and broke my water at about 12:45. I am not quite halfway to where we need to be to push, but things are progressing well and I am feeling pretty good. Baby sister (that's right, she still doesn't have a name) got a little excited about the prospect of joining the fam last night, so she kicked me all night long and I didn't get more than a couple of hours sleep, so I have been grateful to be able to catch a few short naps during the labor. I've also watched Legally Blonde, read my February Parents magazine and filled out a lot of paperwork...a fairly productive day for being confined to a bed.

So that's pretty much it...we'll keep you posted!

Sweet Sweet Friends

I have the sweetest friends in the world. I have been feeling a little anti-social lately - which I'll blame on the pregnancy - and I haven't been feeling myself because of it. With the craziness of holidays and people going out of town, I took a hiatus from planning our local playgroup and girl's night outs and I had really noticed a void in my life.

Today was extra special because we had playgroup and Girl's Night Out for the first time in a few months, which was fantastic! I am so lucky to be surrounded by so many wonderful and amazing "mommy" friends whose kids my children adore. My sweet friend Mandy offered to plan the Girl's Night Out this month with the baby coming and to my complete surprise made the event a baby shower for me. I was totally surprised and it was so sweet of everyone to get me fully stocked for the baby!

So to all of you wonderful ladies - and you know who you are - the ones who were there and the ones who weren't - I just want you to know how much you mean to me and how grateful I am for your love and friendship! My life is richer and sweeter because you are a part of it! THANK YOU! I truly am blessed with sweet sweet friends!

(And, of course, thanks to my wonderful mom for making it possible for me to go to Girl's Night Out despite an irritable daughter with a fever and a little boy who didn't take a nap today! I almost decided not to go because the kids were having a rough afternoon - that would not have been good!)

Whew!

Well, after worrying for 2 days straight about the sweet little baby girl in my tummy, I had the diagnostic ultrasound this morning and everything is good. She has a strong heartbeat, the fluid levels are good and they have ruled out placenta problems. She is, however, on the small side of things - especially for one of my babies - weighing in around 5 1/2 lbs. That means that even if she gains a pound this week (like she is supposed to) I am going to have a baby that weighs less than 7 lbs. at birth. This, friends, is monumental for me! Chloe was 8 lbs. 1 oz. 8 days early, and Morgan was 8 lbs. 13 oz. 8 days early. Quite a difference - so here's hoping for an easy breezy delivery next Wednesday thanks to a much smaller baby, a body that has experienced much worse - twice in the last 4 years, and, of course, the wonder of epidurals! Yipee!

Pregnancy Update

I had an appointment today and we scheduled the induction for next Wednesday, January 21. I am dialated to a 1 1/2 so I am progressing well and these annoying contractions that are increasing in frequency are actually doing something other than causing me pain! I am measuring smaller, though, despite gaining weight (probably why I am always out of breath) which has my doctor (and in turn, me) worried that there may be a growth issue with the baby, so I go in on Wednesday for a diagnostic ultrasound to check on the baby and make sure everything is okay. If it turns out that there is a problem, I will probably be induced sooner.

After my appointment, I got a little freaked out that we will be having a baby in 9 days (at the most), so I am proud to announce that the baby girl clothes are down from storage and sorted into sizes (thanks Seth). Now, I just need to get a dresser so I have somewhere to put them and take down the Christmas decorations before I have my hands full!

Baby...what baby?

I am really close to having 3 kids. In case you haven't noticed the ticker on the right, I am more than 36 weeks. That means that I will be induced in less than 3 weeks. Yep, less than 3 weeks! My body is ready to be rid of this baby girl. The heartburn, the lack of ability to sleep, the discomfort of pre-labor pains (these must get worse with every pregnancy), my aching sciatic nerve and my general ginormousity which is putting a major damper on my winter sports involvement.

My mind, on the other hand, is completely unprepared. If you know me well, you know that I am a planner. I drove around with Morgan's infant carrier installed in my car for more than 3 months, I got stressed out by baby showers that were within 2 months of my due date because I wanted to have everything in its place, Chloe was named (and called) Chloe for many months in the womb, clothes were folded on shelves and in dressers for months before having a baby to wear them, and a selection of "hospital" outfits was pondered long before the big day. This time around...not so. I kept telling myself to get through Christmas before worrying about any baby stuff.

Well friends, Christmas has past, New Year's has past, and this little girl doesn't have a name, clothes are still in an upper cabinet unsorted and unwashed, there is no progress toward the room change for Chloe, I need to buy a bed and dresser and completely overhaul Morgan's closet, I have no size 1 diapers in the house (though the hospital will send me home with plenty, so I don't have to worry about that), no hospital outfits have been chosen or bags packed, and we are less than 3 weeks away! Yikes! Not to mention that it recently hit me that I am going to have 3 kids and only 2 hands/arms/legs/eyes...you get the picture. I am starting to think that I didn't really need a bigger car because we will probably not be leaving the house together for a very long time! The good news is that the blessing brunch menu is planned - that definitely had to be done before the baby was born! Ha!

The kids are getting really excited for the baby though. Morgan regularly asks when baby sister will be coming. He knows that it will involve me going to the hospital, so when we are in the car and he doesn't know where we are going, he always asks, "Are we going to the hospital to get baby sister out of your tummy?"

Today he asked if she was wearing clothes in my tummy...I explained that she is naked, but when she comes out we will put clothes on her so she can be warm. Later in the afternoon he said, "Baby sister is naked in your tummy, mom," very matter-of-factly, as if I didn't know.

Both Morgan and Chloe like to "see" the baby, but don't think she is really there unless my tummy is bare and they can see my stretching skin. Yesterday, Morgan asked me to see the baby, so I lifted my shirt and he saw my belly button, which is currently poking out, pointed to it and said, "Look, mom! I can see baby sister, she is right there!" Chloe likes to show me how you hold a baby and is getting lots of practice on her dolls.

Yesterday, I took some of Chloe's "too small" clothes out of her drawer and Morgan started helping by taking them to the garbage can. As I got them back out of the garbage and out of his arms, I explained that we would be saving these for baby sister since she would eventually get bigger and fit in them. At dinner, Morgan told me, "I have some shoes under my bed that are too small, so I am saving them for baby sister when she gets bigger." What a good big brother he is!

Morgan is also intrigued by the age of the baby. "How old is baby sister today, Mom?" he asks. Each time I explain that the baby doesn't have an "age" until it is born and then it will start at 0 and get older each day. "Oh," he says...minutes later he asks, "Is the baby 1 now?"

So, there you have it. I am ready to have this baby, but I am not ready to have her. Hopefully soon we will be able to call her something other than "baby sister" and hopefully my "nesting" will kick in soon and last long enough to do the dishes, mop the floor and get baby clothes out of storage!

How Time Does Fly

At my doctor's appointment yesterday, it really hit me how fast time has flown during this pregnancy. I know I didn't think that when I could barely move from the couch and had to take my daily Zofran to function like a normal human, but I don't know where the time has gone these past few months.

I am about 31 weeks - which is pretty far along when you consider that my pregnancies historically have only lasted 39 weeks, but what really hit me was scheduling my future appointments. I scheduled my next appointment 3 weeks out, an appointment 2 weeks beyond that, and an appointment 2 weeks beyond that - and you know what? Two weeks more would be past my due date, so those are all the appointments left this pregnancy. WOO HOO! Even the lady scheduling my appoinments was surprised that there were only that many left! "But you are so tiny!" she said - which made my day because I no longer feel tiny! I have gained a total of 21 lbs. and only have 8 weeks (fingers crossed) before this little girl gets here. Hopefully that means I will not hit the 35 lb + weight gain with this baby! :) Here's hoping!

So, I have 8 weeks to get through Thanksgiving, Black Friday shopping, Holiday parties and festivities, Christmas, sqeezing in a family "getaway" for a few days, New Years, 3 more Dr. appointments, and all the rest of my baby prep list! No biggie, right?

P.S. Thanks to everyone for their support with my doggy woes. She is a sweet girl and will be missed. I'll keep you updated on how it goes.